Heather's Heart ♥

Update!

2012-02-04T22:08:00.000-06:00

So, my roommate and I decided to live like poor people and not buy internet. And seeing as I can't even text on my Android, I sure won't be blogging from it! haha.

I'm 105 days from my undergraduate degree in Christian Ministry with an emphasis in Youth and a minor in Theology. I almost sound intelligent! ;)

I have been on a journey the last four years trying to figure out God's will for my life. He made it very clear to me that He wasn't going to reveal it to me with a clear-cut, obvious answer. He was going to put me through a process. I was frustrated. But I like it. More on that later ;)

So, I'm beginning to apply around to some churches in the St. Louis area. I think God is calling me back there, for various reasons...mostly because my teenage sister is the most important teenager in my life.

My job at the shelter is crazy as ever as well! Every day, I seem to encounter a new situation. God is teaching me so much and forcing me to grow up. A lot of people are telling me how I have my act together, and only am 22. I don't believe that ;) I DO know that it's only by the grace of God that I have anything at all. Not in a cheesy way or anything...this is real talk.

Anywho...I have a list of things I want to blog about, and I will get to it soon (105 days? ;))

Thanks everyone for your private prayers.

Blessings,
Heather

2012 "Resolutions"

2012-01-03T10:33:00.001-06:00

Well, 2011 is officially over. Can you believe it? I literally CAN'T. There are some big decisions I have to make in the next 5 months, and I have been thinking about them for 4+ years, and now the time has come to make them! But I'll get to that in a bit. Let's take a look at the resolutions I made last year, and if I actually did them or not.

Heather's 21 Resolutions for 2011
1. Go out of the country. This is a huge one for me. I have made up excuses for a LONG time for not doing this. But I'm extremely convicted. So this is going to happen. This actually DIDN'T happen. It's kind of a long story, but I tried to go, very very hard. And believed that God could provide for it with all my heart--so I'm going to call this one a win!
2. Try saurcraut. It's my mom's least favorite food, so thus I've never had it. I tried it! And hated it!
3. Pick up speaking Spanish again. I used to speak it all the time. There's no reason for me to lose 6 years of classes for nothing. Well, I did speak Spanish MORE, but noone in Southwest Missouri understood me...
4. Crash a wedding. Uhh...Didn't happen. I could have, but I'm just not rude like that ;)
5. Eat pizza with anchovies. I just wanna know why everyone thinks its so fishy! ha. Nope.
6. I will regain my love for reading and read copious amounts of books. I wish this happened.
7. I will do all my homework...........................................maybe. The homework that counted, I did!
8. Buy one of those page-a-day devotion calendars and read it every morning as I brush my teeth. I did this for the majority of the time, so I call this a win!
9. Blog once a week. I didn't expect to be working full time two jobs on top of school...so I failed.
10. Sing a solo in church. I used to all the time when I was a kid. Nope. This will be the year.
11. Become the owner of Quelf. HAPPENED!!!
12. I will meet my future husband. ;) No ring on my finger, so I dunno!
13. Host a dance party. Two of them, to be exact!
14. Eat healthier (had to throw a boring one in there!) Yep!
15. I will whip my hair back and forth when I encounter opposition. Duh.
16. Double the size of my small youth group. I am going to call this a win, although we didn't gain any members.
17. I will visit a beach. I have never been to a legit beach. Dang it!
18. I will sing in the shower at the TOP of my lungs when all my housemates are here. No, but I played my guitar. A win.
19. Keep track of my budget and not use my debit card even half as much. Yes!
20. I will not get on Facebook in class..............maybe. yes! most of the time.
21. I will become addicted to the show "My Strange Addiction." yep!

So, I did a majority of my resolutions/bucket list. I think this year, I have only a few things:

1. Graduate college (a given). But this involves the whole process of figuring out what I'm doing afterwards...

2. Do what no woman has ever done before and become the weight on my Driver's license (I have started an official diet, BUT this may result in getting a new license...but hey, still a lesson on humility!)

3. Get engaged. hahahaha. This is a joke between my sister and I. . . a "joke". . . ;)

4. Hold both of my current jobs until I graduate. (So when I feel like quitting, I have this to look to).

5. Be a Maid of Honor. (Okay, this is a cheat too. I already have this in the bag)

6. Keep a prayer journal. I haven't journaled in a long time. It's time :)

7. Start blogging again.

Yes.

This is going to be a hard year. I already know that. Last year was VERY hard. I watched both my parents lose their houses last year, and are both currently "homeless". My sister is growing up, but not in an environment that is helping her become a young woman. One of my favorite students died in a tragic car accident that broke me into pieces. I learned a lot about what a friend is last year, and lost some best friends, including one of 15 years. But this year I will continue my workaholic ways, figure out what I'm doing with the rest of my life (or at least after I graduate), try to figure out how to rewire the youth ministry program at church, and try to find a man. I mean what? I'm so thankful that the Lord has been gracious with me. I'm really going to do something different that makes an impact in His kingdom. Perhaps that is the best resolution I can make!

Being Thanks

2011-11-22T00:17:00.001-06:00

I've been through a lot lately. There was an incident at the residence facility that I work at that, quite honestly, gave me "Post Traumatic Stress Disorder." My mother just lost her house. I've already told you about my car hitting a horse and getting totaled. Things at church are a little dry. School has been, eh (plus I graduate in 179 days and am freakin out). I've been pretty discouraged in many things.

But I remain in having hope. I know that the Lord is faithful; I've attested to that many times. I wrote about in the spring how someone said that my faith in His provision was "irrational". I still see Him providing. I still remain hopeful.

Is this what you look like when you give
thanks to God in the "bad things?

This week is Thanksgiving. I have so much to be thankful for. I feel like God has conditioned me, no matter the circumstance, to count myself blessed and to give thanks. Thankfulness isn't just about being thankful FOR things, but being thankful IN ALL things. God gives, and he takes away; but his faithfulness endures throughout it all. Can you honestly say that you are thankful IN ALL things? And I'm not talking about the "My life is crappy. But God is still good!" and gritting your teeth with a fake smile. Christians do that all the time, and sometimes I feel like I hear "God is so good" when people are going through the "bad things" more than when they are going through the "good things". I'm talking about LIVING OUT thanks. Having a thankful SPIRIT. Living each moment knowing that you are blessed in ALL things.

God has conditioned me to live this way! Life is so tough sometimes. Sometimes I want to be the old, depressed, self-centered Heather that centered her problems on herself. But God has taught me that life is so much bigger than me, that He has a bigger purpose set for me. So when I am faced with a situation, I rarely have the attitude, "Woe is me." I brush it off my shoulders and wait for God's greater purpose. I am LIVING thankfulness.

My college pastor told me that this is a lesson that most people learn when they are old. He said that I was blessed to have learned this now. How much heartache am I saving myself? (not that I haven't experienced any to get to this point ;) )

My encouragement to those reading this not to GIVE thanks, but to BE it.

(wow, that was a lot of CAPS.)

Another Ramble...what the cheese am I gonna do when I graduate?!

2011-11-02T21:13:00.001-05:00

I'm going to freak out for a little minute.

I hope you don't mind.

I graduate in less than 200 days. 199 to be exact. And I've been counting down for a while now. A. WHILE. It's getting closer. And closer. It won't let up.

Part of me is excited--I get to go literally wherever I want and do whatever I want. I can move out of this small town and move to a city! I won't be in undergrad anymore (I feel like a babysitter to freshmen now). I will have a degree that will mean something financially! (pshhh)

Most of me is terrified--What if I make the "wrong" choice? How will I pay for this? What if no one will hire me because I'm a girl? My resume is nice, but is it good ENOUGH?! How will I beat all the boys? Do I need to get married soon to continue in this field? WHEN will I get married? Am I going to be single forever? Lord, don't make me like Paul or Jesus! God forbid! What seminary should I go to? Should I continue this Southern Baptist tradition, who won't let me teach outside of small churches or being called "Youth DIRECTOR"? Should I go somewhere that lines up strictly with my views, or more liberal? My top 5 choices are in Louisville, Chicago, L.A., and New Orleans...can you all tell how scattered I am?! In fact, that was only 4 choices! I can't even count!!! How am I going to pay for this?! (I repeated this, but it's important...and I can't even count.) Are my grades good enough for scholarships? Do I really think I'm as smart as some of my friends who have gone off to Seminary? What will I do about my current position at Grace? I'm starting to like this small town (gasps go off around me).

SIGH.

Time to make some decisions. The Lord isn't giving me clarity on anything at this moment, and I feel like I need to figure out everything NOW.

And I know this sounds ridiculous...but I feel like I'm deciding the rest of my life. Usually where people go to grad school, they end up staying.

And this might sound more ridiculous (especially to all who know how independent and self-sufficient I am)...but I kind of wish I had that "ring by spring" so that a man could make all of my decisions for me. Like, it would help me if I had a husband to dictate. Gasps again.

What is happening to me?!?!

Okay, I'm done rambling. Again.

Me, Calm? Pshhh

2011-10-30T20:41:00.002-05:00

Over the past few months, I have seen myself involuntarily becoming more and more like Christ. Not that I don't want to become like Christ; that is my biggest desire while I'm here on earth. It's just I'll look back at the "Old Heather" and go, "Wow, I sure don't like the same things I used to; the things in life that brought me pleasure are not the same things that bring me pleasure now."

For example, I used to shake my booty to all kinds of music...and now I can't stand to listen to the Top 40 radio station. I don't think music has gotten "worse", because I'll look back at the things I used to kick it to, and go, "Why did this ever bring me joy?"

Of course I'm writing about something greater than my booty-shaking. If you know me, you know that (minimally) I have a loud personality. I speak out of turn, I laugh L O U D, I say what's on my mind, and I am not the definition of "calm". I'm emotional, and that drives all the things I listed. So I think about a few things that have happened to me in the last month--totaling my car on a horse on the highway at midnight, losing an eighth grade girl who means the world to me, and one of the residents at the girls' shelter trying to kick down my door to kill me. The Old Heather would have freaked out in each of those situations. She would have cried hysterically. She might have harmed herself, emotionally or physically. She would have blamed God; she would have failed to see His mercy in any of this; she wouldn't have looked at the positive; she wouldn't have been able to testify of God's grace through these situations. Who I am today is not the same person I was when God chose my heart. He has conformed me to the likeness of His Son in ways that are inexplicable. I am still loud; I am still driven by emotions. But I understand God's purposes a bit better, and have been blessed by the Spirit's gifts of discernment, wisdom, patience. Even in a time right now, where I'm having a dry patch with the Lord, does He call on me, choose me, and change my heart. I don't deserve any of it. And this blind-sided me; that I would ever go through situations like these and BE CALM IN THE LORD.

"since I got that call, no more Saul, now I'm Paul." --Kirk Franklin, "Lose My Soul" with Toby Mac.

Grief.

2011-10-21T01:30:00.001-05:00

So here I am, it's 1:10 am...I have an 8 o clock class, then a meeting, then a funeral. And I'm sitting here bawling my eyes out.

Last weekend, three students went on a joyride that ended in their death. I was very close to one of those girls, who was in the eighth grade. I have had the privilege of watching her grow over the last two and a half years. There was a new church plant in town, with an overwhelming amount of students who attended. I was in the beginning of my sophomore year, and eager to serve here. She was one of the first girls I encountered, and she instantly loved me. Her group of sixth grade girl friends adored me, and I secretly favored them as well. They were spunky, loving, and made me laugh. They clung to every word I said.

I felt called elsewhere, and sought that calling out. A year ago I received the call to my current church, and although I was excited to lead a youth group, I was torn to leave these girls. When I told the new youth minister there that I needed to "break the news" to the girls, he seemed very nonchalant about it, like I was going to tell them, and the night would be normal from there. He hadn't been there long and didn't realize my connection with the girls. When I told them at the end of the night, there were a few who sat, cuddled, and bawled our eyes out. I remember how hurt they were that I was leaving, and I kept trying to get them to understand. I told them they could follow me, but to really pray about where God wanted them. They all stayed with that church, yet I maintained contact with them through Facebook and random run-ins around town. I was still able to help them out in many different situations. I love them so much, and consider them a huge part of my development as a leader.

This last summer, I was in Walmart, and I hear, "Are you Heather?" I turned around, and I see a woman and a little boy. The woman says, "I'm Gabi's mom. Can I give you a hug?" We shared in a great embrace, and she expressed to me how much I meant to her daughter, and therefore to her. She shared with me that I probably thought she was crazy, but that I was very influential to her ornery daughter, and that Gabi looked up to me. That is one of the most touching moments I have ever had. I never had a student adore me as much as she did, and quite honestly I had never loved students as much as I loved her. Since her, there have been a few that I have felt that same love and desire to see grow, but she was really the beginning of that for me.

Gabi had really struggled this last year. In fact, her father had just died two weeks prior to her death of cancer. I don't want to go into familial details, but there is a lot that has happened in her life, both positive and outwardly negative, in the last year. She was really struggling in her walk. But when I think about how God looks at us, I don't think he saw her as a sinner. I think He saw her as an eighth grader, who had a sincere love for Him and desire to follow Him, but was an eighth grader. I have no doubt that I will see her again.

So here I am, bawling my eyes out and remembering all the times we have shared. This girl was gorgeous, a real heart-breaker I'm sure. She was spunky. She was hilarious. The life of the party. She could be really mean sometimes, but very devoted to whatever emotion she was feeling ;) She had amazing friends, who were in the same place spiritually. They are hurting. I want to hug them and never let go, so they won't leave me too. It sounds selfish. My greatest desire is that they can use this to move on and live their life like Christ would--remembering that choices have consequences, we are not invincible, and that everything we do is for the glory of God. Even dying.

Ugh...I miss that girl. But I'm so happy she is in heaven with her eternal Father. I must quit bawling now.

Heather Hits a Horse

2011-10-12T14:01:00.004-05:00

My sister said that if my life were a Dr. Seuss book, that would be the title.

Why, you ask?

Two Saturdays ago (October 1) I was driving back from my job in a nearby city. It takes me about 40 minutes. It was about midnight, and I wasn't too far out of the city, when I saw a horse in the left hand lane (my lane) of the highway. I immediately gasped, braked, swerved. Just that quick. I totaled my car on the horse, and the horse died instantly. You can read more about it in the following (hilarious and misspelled) article from Southwest Baptist University's paper:

While this article catches the humor involved in this incident, it didn't really talk about how good God was in this situation. I had been thinking a lot about the Holy Spirit's role in my life, and was listening to "Forgotten God" by Francis Chan. I had been really into it, then the accident happened. If you look close, you can see that there is no damage to where I was sitting, but all around me is totaled.

As the article says that I attribute my safety to "divine protection." I do. I couldn't have hit the horse more perfectly, for it to hit that side and then hit my back? How nothing damaged me? My windshield didn't burst, my airbag didn't bust me in the jaw, nothing?

I told my grandpa that the horse was bound to hit someone on the highway, and I'm glad that it was me. I know the Lord, and I would have been able to see him; had that been someone else, who knows? My Grandpa said to me, "The Lord obviously still has work for you to do."

I already have a new car...everything happened so quickly. Insurance companies don't know what to say to me; I'm "the girl who hit the horse" to most people. God has been extremely faithful to me, and I don't deserve it. I'm happy to be alive, and I pray to GOD that I never see a horse near the highway again!

Some more vulnerability.

2011-09-30T14:20:00.001-05:00

Sometimes I wonder what to post on this blog, because most of the people who read it are in ministry, and I know that I get irritated with some of the blogs I follow when they post things that aren't directly-related to ministry. Most of the time I post about things in ministry that I am learning, or general life lessons as a result of things that I struggle with. I guess I write this junk because I wish to read it more--life in ministry is not easy. Life in general is not easy. So I guess I wrote that paragraph to say, I am going to continue being vulnerable in my blog. That is who I am.

A big problem that I have with my personality is my sarcasm. When situations are tough, uncomfortable, and uneasy, I get sarcastic. I make jokes. I don't mean to. It's how I deal. I once heard that when we as humans are faced with an issue, we have to possible responses--laugh or cry. For me, crying takes so much energy, especially when you are dealing with a tough situation and are in the spotlight. It takes too much energy to focus on how crappy life is, to dwell on hurt, and to cry. So I laugh. I shake my head, chuckle at humanity, and move on.

In high school, I would tell my friends the things that I was struggling with, and they would ask me how I could possibly laugh through those situations. I'd choke back tears and respond, "What else can I do?" Nobody wants to be around a person who is sad all the time, even if they have "just reasons."

Now that I work with teenagers a million and five hours a week, I have literally seen it all. I work at a girls' shelter full of girls who are highly medicated for anything you could ever think of. I have had to learn to laugh at situations instead of stress myself out.

But there's a line I need to draw. I'm right in that when there's a situation going on, I need to not stress myself out more than I need to. I should learn to laugh at some of the things thrown my way. I deal with stress really well this way; it's my "coping skill" as we would say at the shelter.

The line I have to avoid is when I offend people. I can chuckle at life, but I should not make jokes about it to the people involved. I should be more aware of others. Not everyone can handle my humor. Especially teenagers (and especially the ones I work with at the shelter who are of lower social and mental functioning), who cannot comprehend sarcasm or most "adult humor".

I am a work in progress. Dang, it's so frustrating sometimes. I'm reading two books right now on the role and personhood of the Holy Spirit. I so wish He could take over my body, so I wouldn't act like such an idiot all the time. I am going to be actively seeking to change the way I use sarcasm to deal so that I do not offend others, so please pray for me.

Entitled...to what?

2011-09-05T13:06:00.000-05:00

As Americans, we have rights: Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. But we have other rights too, correct? Right to a lawyer, right to vote, right to fair pay, right to etc. All of our rights were fought for, and we still fight for them today.

We believe we have other rights, and although they may or may not be in the constitution, we still believe we are entitled to them. We believe we are entitled to equality, a high-paying job, to be debt-free, successful relationships, success in general, etc.

As Christians (and also as ministers), we still believe we are entitled to things (not necessarily because of our Christianity, I'm saying in general). We are entitled to that seat in church that "is ours," entitled to eat first at the potluck, entitled to the best parking spot, etc.

Did Jesus have something to say about this? Why else would I be writing this blog post?

And He began speaking a parable to the invited guests when He noticed how they had been picking out the places of honor at the table, saying to them, “When you are invited by someone to a wedding feast, do not take the place of honor, for someone more distinguished than you may have been invited by him, and he who invited you both will come and say to you, ‘Give your place to this man,’ and then in disgrace you proceed to occupy the last place. But when you are invited, go and recline at the last place, so that when the one who has invited you comes, he may say to you, ‘Friend, move up higher’; then you will have honor in the sight of all who are at the table with you. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.” Luke 14: 7-11

Yesterday our guest-preacher at church talked about a "Mop Bucket Attitude." Even when you are the highest position at your company, you should still be humble enough to mop the floors of the bathroom. He gave to illustrations--When he himself was the school principal, he was the one who, for some reason, was called every time a toilet was clogged. Perhaps it was because he was accustomed to having his hand in deep crap all day as a principal (cue laugh). He also told the story of a young man who was beaten in Africa. When he came over to school in America, the principal told him he could have any dorm room on campus. The young man says, "Give me the room that no one else wants." The principal wept, as did I when I heard this.

I have been feeling extremely entitled when it comes to...everything. "I've been here longer, so I should get more benefits." "I am an expert in X, therefore you are lucky you are even being graced with my presence." "I know more than you about X, therefore I should be the leader of this organization." Etc. We all feel this way sometimes. But what we need to be is humbled.

Phillippians 2 talks about how Jesus Christ, although God, humbled himself to be just as a man. This is the "Mop Bucket Attitude" that we need. "Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men." Not even that, but he died for men.

We have the show "Undercover Boss", a show where the CEO of companies start at the lowest job in their company and see how things run, as well as attempt to do the "Mop Bucket" jobs.

The difference between this guy and Christ is plain: Christ was willing to do these jobs, and never complained. Also, Christ is not a Cubs fan.

As Christians, we are called to abandon our rights. Our life is supposed to be about glorifying God. To hold onto what we believe we are entitled to is futile. We are not entitled to anything, but death. Yet God gave us grace, something that we SURE don't have the right to have, and he sanctified us and made us righteous.

Green Lantern, Thi'sl, Fear, my new job, youth ministry...they all connect, I promise.

2011-08-15T11:31:00.001-05:00

If you have been reading my Twitter feed or my Facebook statuses, you probably know that now on top of being a full-time student and part-time youth minister, I also now put in 32 hours at a girls' shelter every week. This shelter is a transitional living setting for teenage girls who have a range of issues, with most being mildly mentally retarded ("low functioning") and having anger/aggression issues. They have either been taken away from their families, or their families have given them up to the foster system. Most have assault charges, many from the shelter workers, and many from their family (siblings, parents, grandparents, you name it). This is a tough job. I've been having nightmares about these girls. They are for the most part as sweet as can be, but they get mad from the smallest (and seemingly strangest) triggers. And when they get mad, they are likely to get physical. It's a difficult job.

I'm passionate about teenagers and youth ministry, that is no secret. I am working in a church, and I love it. The problem I have had in church work is that I'm not dealing with "real" issues it seems sometimes. When I left St. Louis, I knew eventually I wanted to do inner-city ministry. I want to work with people whose lives have been traumatized by drugs, alcohol, promiscuity, and abandonment. These are issues that I know about. I was needing something more than these "perfect kids" (which I am thankful for at times--makes my job easy! ;)). This job gives me girls that, although aren't in the "inner-city" area, have the same kinds of issues.

But they kind of scare me, something that I didn't really think would happen. I suppose it's because if a girl with anger/aggression issues gave me a dirty look, the old me in STL could intimidate her back. She cursed at me, she could get it back. She fought me, I could fight her back. But that's the old Heather, a Heather who wasn't concerned about how to help these girls, but how to not get my butt kicked. So I'm fearful--how do I communicate with these girls, get them not to fight me, and spread the love of Jesus Christ to them all at the same time?

We saw the movie "Green Lantern" together last week, and the movie had a great message that I didn't realize until now--we are to operate from will, not fear. Will should be the guiding fuel for everything we do, not fear. Fear is the tool of the enemy; the enemy uses fear to attack us. We should be using our innermost desires to guide our actions. For these girls, they want to be loved. They're fearful that they can't so they operate from that fear. If they operated from their will, they wouldn't really use harsh words. They would do everything they can to help others, to be kind, to be fair, and to be everything that Christ was and is.

Another thing that really spoke to me is the song "I Signed up to Die" by Christian rapper Thi'sl. This song is about missionaries--whether local or abroad. I was reminded that I am a missionary to these girls. My responsibility is to be Christ to them, because they have never seen him and have no clue what Jesus was about. And what if they attack me? What if they hurt me? I signed up for this. They need someone who is fearless of them, someone who is there out of love. Love that can ONLY come from the Father.

Live such good lives so that when they speak against you as doing wrong, they'll see your good deeds and glorify God. 1 Peter 2:12 (Heather Standard Version)

This is what I need right now. They think I'm wronging them every time I discipline them or restrict them from doing things that they want. But when they speak against me as hating them, they'll realize that everything I do for them is for their own good, and out of Love. Reminds me of how we cry out to God, "God, why do you hate me? What did I do wrong?" Yet God has never left our side, never forsaken us; always had our best interest at heart, an interest that desires for us to be like Him. That's my responsibility with these girls.

Happy New Year!

2011-08-10T16:22:00.001-05:00

Gotcha! It's August!

You just walked out your door hoping to see snow. Boy were you confused when you started sweating.

It's a new school year. I don't have any advice, as I am a busy busy girl and don't have much to say. I'm thankful that there are 170342 youth ministry gurus out there to give you all kinds of advice on how to handle the new year of youth ministry.

Why am I blogging then? I'm blogging a cool idea!

We are having a New Years' party at Grace Fellowship! Sunday we have Promotion Sunday, then after service the hospitality committee is putting on a lunch, and we're having hotdogs and milkshakes (snocones too!). Then that night is a great surprise! We're having a New Years' party. They are going to make a list of New Years Resolutions, play some games that would usually only be played on December 31st, and more! I'm pretty pumped about this idea.

Now, it's super tough trying to find supplies in the middle of August. I called every Dollar Tree and Party City and Hobby Lobby within a 45 minute radius. Nothing. But I have an Amazon Prime account, so I ordered a few things off of there that will be shipped to my door Saturday! Bazinga!

Another cool thing we are doing this year is an idea called "Blessing Buddy". Each person is going to draw a name out of a hat, and they are going to go out of their way to bless that person. We tried this for a month, and I saw a few flaws in it. One, the night we draw names not everyone is there. It may be easier to just assign names. Two, how do we bless them? My youth are taking manila folders and filling out an info sheet about them, then attaching it to the folder. If they wanna decorate it, hey. Then we are attaching them to the wall. Their blessing buddy can creep on their folder, and if they make something small enough to fit in there, they can. Or they can leave instructions in there and lead them on a scavenger hunt to their real present....ooo.

Well, there are two fun ideas for you. Let me know if you do any of them and how they go!

Questions:
How do you handle the New Year in youth ministry?
What are some new ideas you are excited to implement?

Christian Pet Peeves

2011-07-31T12:54:00.000-05:00

There are three things that annoy me the most in the world, and they all happen to be things that (some) Christians do.

1. Bring politics into church. I don't want to hear how much you hate the president from the pulpit, in your Sunday School class, or every time we have a fellowship dinner. I also don't care whether you think America was founded on Baptists or Satan.
2. Condemn people groups to hell. Since when did man decide who gets salvation and who doesn't? How do you know you won't see homosexuals, Mormons, Armenians, Democrats, or Rob Bell in heaven?
3. Glorify man. Your preacher is legit, but he is not God.

That is all.

I needed to vent.

What are your biggest Christian pet peeves?

My friend wrote me a sonnet...

2011-07-19T11:54:00.002-05:00

Heather's Sonnet
by Katie Mortimer

I know a gal who makes really cool things
Like entries in blogs and super earrings
And all the world stops to hear when she sings--
It's Toby and KJ52 that she pings;
She's prayerfully awesome-- to Christ she clings.
We all see she's pure by her promise rings.
She writes on advice she gets from First Kings,
Going further on other very deep things.
To every convo a question she brings--
Like how we should dance at all our spring flings.
It is ok that her bling makes cha-chings?
Is there aught to learn from the ancient Mings?
But my favorite thing she's asked from her heart
Was: Is it better to burp or to fart?

Prepare Me

2011-07-11T00:48:00.000-05:00

I'm about to go all emo on you, so if you don't want to read about the depths of a young single woman's heart, don't continue to read. I just need to blog it out.

I warned you.

No, really.

Lately I've been thinking a LOT about marriage. I feel like the Lord has prepared my heart to be the heart of a wife and a mother. In fact, I can't really think of many things that I desire more than that. Yet, here I am single. I know that 21 is a very young age, and that I "don't need to be worried about getting married", yadda yadda yah. But I feel like it's a part of me already, that I'm going to be those things, even though I'm no where close to getting married (I don't have a ring on my finger, nevertheless a guy on my arm).

I find a lot of comfort in 1 Corinthians 7, where Paul points out that the different between a married person and an unmarried person is that the married person is not only working to fulfull the desires of God, but their spouse:

32 But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; 33 but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. 35 This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord.

I hear a lot that God is preparing a husband for me, but I think more now that God is preparing me to be a wife to somebody. As much as I think my desires are undistractingly for the Lord (yes I made that word up), I am constantly humbled and shown that I still care a lot for the world. I know this will be a constant struggle for the rest of my life (hence why my life verse is Mark 8:36). I know that the Lord will bring a me to a man when he finds that my heart can handle balancing the desires for the Kingdom and for my husband...not that the two are completely seperated, but let's be honest marriages are hard and distracting from God even if you're a saint. I mean, Paul said so right there in the Bible (take that as hard evidence!)

Anyway, as discouraged as I am watching my friends get married or in relationships...I remind myself that ultimately my life is to honor and glorify the LORD. If it's his will (and I feel it is) it will happen, in His time.

Please just let it be before I graduate in a year.

I mean whaaaaaaaaaaaaat? ;)

I told you this would be girly.

Why the Honeymoon Has to End

2011-07-05T22:57:00.001-05:00

I heard repeatedly in my college youth ministry classes that in ministry, there is always this initial "honeymoon" that each minister goes through. For a few months if you're good, half a year if you're lucky, a year if the church has their heads in the clouds just like you...haha. I didn't believe it in class, and even had an arrogance to how long I could go before it did. The honeymoon has to end eventually though. Why?

1. Because you're bound to screw up eventually.
I went 9 months strong before my honeymoon ended. Every time I messed up, I would "wince" to how harsh the punishment could get. Like the time we painted our youth room and paint got all over the church...we cleaned it up quickly but you know there is going to be that one kid that talks and tells the wrong person ;). Or the time I drove on the wrong side of the road (in my defense, it was a country road at midnight, and the youth assured me I was doing the right thing). But those weren't what hurt me thankfully, because those are the things that get addressed immediately. What are the mistakes that get us in trouble? Lack of communication with parents, with students, with other church leaders. And yes, the occasionally "dumb" accident like I stated. We're human. We screw up. We say "crap" to the wrong person and it offends them. We get a ticket from speeding in the church van. Someone breaks an arm on the slip-in-slide we made slick with Tide. It's bound to happen that we screw up.

2. Because you finally understand the flaws of the ministry you are serving.
The first few months you kind of go through the motions, "try out" some different programs or formats of youth meetings, grow relationships, but most importantly get a grasp of who are the student leaders and who needs the most attention. You understand why the church or youth group isn't growing. You begin seeing why teens come on Wednesday nights and not Sunday mornings. And these are things that start bothering you inside. Tension grows between you and whatever aspect of the church/ministry you feel is a hindrance--is it the music? preaching? volunteers? the students? yourself? These things start piling up, little thing by little thing, and they result in a burn-out. I know that in my "Christian Ministry Apprenticeship" class, we talked about all kinds of mock situations that would happen in church, and I would boldly say exactly what I would do. My professor loved my energy and enthusiasm, but called me naive. I understand why now. When those situations arise, we rack our brains 24/7 trying to come up with how to solve the solution, how to talk to your pastor or another person about it, etc. I can rehearse in my head 2340874 times how I want to talk to Church Council about something, but it never comes out the way it sounds in my head. So sometimes we don't say it. And our ministry hurts as a result of our "good intentions" of not hurting others or our paycheck.

3. Because you are drained...and need a vacation.
Except when you are a minister, you can call it a sabbatical and it makes it sound needed, not just for fun! People don't understand how draining ministry can be. Putting any conflict aside, it's draining pouring out your life to individuals who frankly don't care most of the time (especially if you don't get the response you desire). Burn-out is bound to happen.

Don't get me wrong, the honeymoon ending stinks. But it is necessary. Now that your head is out of the clouds, you can honestly address the needs of the ministry and of the church.

Questions I have for you reading:
How do you address these situations in your church?
What do you do when you are burned out?

Best. Event. Ever.

2011-06-27T22:20:00.003-05:00

Being a small youth group rocks. In the future when I get bummed out because "we're not as big as first baptist" or other reasons related to our size, I'm going to have to remind myself of this weekend and the success it brought our ministry.

This weekend we had a family camping trip to a nearby camping area. On Friday afternoon, the ladies and I headed up early to work on our tans, bond, and find our camps. That evening, two more families joined us.

This was my favorite event by far, not because of numbers or anything like that, but because of the fellowship that was created. One of the boys kept relishing in the fellowship that camping brings, and he had a huge point. Camping causes people to work together in order to survive.

The other reason I loved this event was the time I got to spend with parents. Our little Baptist church has monthly fellowship dinners in which I try to eat with different families, but camping brought more bonding than just our average Baptist potluck. I got to see how the teenagers and parents interact with each other--their parenting techniques, the way the teens respond to them, and the dynamics of the families as a whole. I now understand a few of the the teens a whole lot better just by getting to spend a weekend with their families. The two families that went got to know each other a whole lot better, and pointed out to me that even though they had been in the same church for three years, they have never talked as much as they did just in that one night.

SUCCESS! *ching ching*
(I don't know that the ching ching noise is for, but let's roll with it.)

Our ministry is going to be going through some changes here soon, and I think this weekend was an awesome, and needed time to relax, destress, and grow together. This is true fellowship. Hopefully we can do something to this effect in the future, where we bring families together in order to grow our ministry. As I pointed out to one parent, it's not my duty to just minister to the students, because that just makes me their babysitter. It's my duty to minister to the family as a whole.

Judas

2011-06-20T18:50:00.000-05:00

I relate to Lady GaGa's song "Judas."

It has received a lot of criticism, obviously because the song is talking about Judas from the Bible. Judas betrayed Jesus with a kiss. The song says "I'm still in love with Judas."

What does this mean? GaGa talks about how even though he betrays her and his "tongue lies through his brain", she can forgive him over and over again. And although "Jesus is my virtue, Judas is the demon I cling to." I relate to this, and I feel that all Christ-followers should. I desire to follow Christ, yet I always feel like I'm caught up in sin. I end up letting it rule me.

Now, I have issues with GaGa. I'm not suggesting we bring her music into church ("wear an ear condom next time!"). I'm just saying, I get this song.

"I wanna love You, but something's pulling me away from You."

Just a short post that I've been meaning to write for a while.

Our Ministry "Halos"

2011-06-13T22:17:00.001-05:00

Something I really struggle with in ministry is learning how vulnerable I can be with my students. As in, how much of my sin do I show them?

I remember a child coming to me last year asking me about Jesus. I asked her, about 7 or 8 years old, if she did bad things, AKA "sinned." She agreed. I said, "You're right! You sin, your mom sins, I sin, even your leaders Pam and John sin!" (the leaders of the community center, names changed because frankly I can't remember them). She responded with, "Whoaaaaaaaa..." She didn't realize that everyone, including people she looked up to, did bad things just like her.

I think our students have forgotten that we, their leaders, sin. I personally royally screw up daily. But how much do I tell my students? How vulnerable do I get with them?

I don't claim to have all the answers, but here are two things I am learning:

1. You need to be vulnerable.
A few months ago, we were talking one night about anger; how we can't come before God with a pure heart if we are still angry with a brother or sister. I was, dare I say "preaching" for a moment, then it hit me: I had two people in my life that I needed to make amends with. And I shared this with them. This really helped me teach. The next week, I told them the progress I had made, and through my life lesson was able to teach them. I tell them that I struggle with pride, but that's a "safe" sin. What if it's not a "safe" sin to talk about it the church? Read on.

2. They don't need to know every detail.
I partied in high school. I consumed alcohol and did not honor my pledge of purity. How much do I tell them? What do I say? Obviously, I don't tell them what kinds of drinks I thought were tasty, which ones had the worst hangovers, etc. But what about when it comes to purity? What do they need to know? Saying, "Well, I didn't have sex, but I wasn't doing what I needed to be doing." Then their minds start racing, and their respect for their youth leader, does it vanish? What do I say? Sex isn't one of those things that seems "safe" to talk about in church, especially with a group of teenagers. But it is so necessary.

3. We are held to a higher standard.
This is the tough part. In my last post, I talked about how teenagers thing very concretely; so speeding may be considered an awful sin to one, saying "crap" may be considered a sin, etc. Basically, if an action is questionable, we shouldn't do it. This makes me think about the age-old question: Do we listen to "secular" music in the church van? What if they realize I know the lyrics? Do I lose respect? I'm posing too many questions to answer in this post. This is also where we remind ourselves that we are LEADERS and not FRIENDS (well, friendly leaders). They don't need to see how I know every word to Ke$ha in order to like me. In fact, I should probably not brag about that right now. Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial. Some famous dude said that...;)

4. They need to understand that we are not to be put on a pedestal.
Students need to understand that even their leaders fall into sin. Period. I am not perfect. They need to remember that the only model we have of what it looks like to lead a perfect life is Jesus Christ himself. Does this justify us leaders to do whatever the heck we want? Definitely not. Even the holiest people sin; this shouldn't discourage us but encourage us to follow the one example we got. And going back to point 3, we DO need to try to be that example to them, yet we ain't gonna get it right.

Here is one of my favorite songs that reminds me not to put myself on a pedestal:

Also, I wanted to post a song that I came out when I was in high school. I LOVED it; it was on my favorite show, One Tree Hill. It's called "Halo." enjoy! :)

As you can see, I by no means have this figured out. I need help in this. I'm really struggling. I need to be respected as a leader, yet I need to relate. Do I use my own experiences? What do I say about things? What about the sin I struggle with now?

Youth pastors, how much do you share with your youth?

What I Wish I Knew...

2011-06-04T22:47:00.002-05:00

A year ago this last week, I embarked in my first paid role in ministry as an intern of a megachurch's youth ministry. I was the intern for the high school girls in a ministry of about 250 students. My job was basically to develop a "core" of 18 ladies into leaders for the student ministry. I was to do this by leading service projects, hosting pool parties, serving alongside them on a missions trip, being a camp leader, creating and getting HS leaders for a VBS-type thing for the middle school AND hanging out with them twice a week. I also ended up filling in for a middle school Sunday School teacher. I was BUSY. I made some mistakes. I thought I had it all figured out before I went into that role, but my pride in my education got in the way. Here is a list of things I wish I knew before I went into this role.

1. Not everyone wants to be my best friend.
First of all, not all of that 18 girls I was supposed to lead were even there that summer. And maybe I took that too personally. There are girls who are used to being the leaders, and do not want another leader "over them", getting close to "their" friends and "their" followers. High school girls WILL talk about you behind your back as a leader. And I acted surprised! When I remember calling my youth pastor's wife a highlighter because of the lime green shirt she was wearing, talking about him behind his back. And I was the student leader (Christian Karma?). Nobody in high school wants to hang out with their youth leader 72 times a week...it's just not going to end up well. Spending so much time with ANYBODY will end in disaster, especially when girls are involved. I to this day get frustrated when spending mass amounts of time with people, because their flaws jump out at you. Also, I was the same distance from many of my core as I am from my best friend, who is 4 1/2 years older than me. Being a leader does not mean being a best friend.

2. Teenagers still think concretely.
I should have listened more in my "Adolescent Development" class. Teenagers are really struggling with trying to grasp onto ideas that are more abstract. There are all these false dichotomies going on because of the incapability to reason with ideas that aren't black and white. Also, they aren't going to understand all of my jokes. I almost made this a whole separate point, but I won't. I was frustrated at one point when I said something that was okay in my "college" group of friends to say, but they didn't understand it. They thought what I said was terrible, but to me it was funny and okay. That's because in college you learn to think abstractly, and especially at my age are almost too abstract. Also, don't discuss NT Wright with teens out of the blue. These kinds of abstract things, while important to discuss, need to be prepared for! (I find myself giggling and rolling my eyes) When I say "but", I better really mean that word because that means a disclaimer. But I snapped out of that.

3. Don't make assumptions.
Just because a person has a nice house doesn't mean they can afford camp. Strong Christians don't always go out with who they should or have the relationships they should. Beautiful girls have just as hard of a time with their identity as those who aren't so "beautiful."

4. My past can hold up my future.
Let's be honest, I have a heavy past. But I was too caught up on it. I made it a block in relating with these upper middle class folks in the suburbs. Can I relate to getting a car, especially a nice one for my 16th birthday? Nope. I can't think of a friend who did. Do I understand what it's like to have seemingly unlimited money to spend on...whatever? Nope. But that doesn't mean I can't relate at all. There are girls who don't have Christian parents. There are students who have seen drugs ruin their families and friends. There are girls who go work in the inner-city and have seen what I've seen, even if haven't resided there. They still get it. They share the MOST IMPORTANT thing with me--Christ. Sometimes they made it a big deal that I couldn't relate, but probably only because I made it a big deal first. I was glorifying it too much.

5. I am not into recreational youth ministry.
My internship was almost completely recreational. My spiritual gift is teaching and administering. I barely got to use those gifts. I took a lot from that internship and applied it in terms of recreation, don't get me wrong. But when I look back and get frustrated at myself, I remind myself that I wasn't really using my gifts. My current ministry has rec, but it is focused on study. That's more my thang.

6. I might be more into women's ministry.
This is something I have been pondering. I pledged to follow the Lord's call for me, wherever that would be. I still think that is with teenagers. But I have a bigger heart for women's ministry and specifically teenagers. They need somebody investing in them. I saw that in some of the girls I interacted with. It broke my heart when leaving them that they would no longer have someone investing in them. Then I saw the leaders I trained rise up and take that place. That's another thing I learned: I am an equipper. This could mean that somewhere along the road, I may equip the next generation of youth ministers. I would tell them that they do not have it figured out, and never will. Yay!

You know, I would like to change the title. I needed to learn all of this. I use it now. I do not share a lot of the same political views with my current youth, but that doesn't mean we can't relate. When they can't see my way, I shouldn't get frustrated, but remember where they are in their life. I can't make assumptions based off of their house, their car, what they eat, what they look like...and I can't make my past a road block. Sometimes it is, like when they talk about agricultural things (I knew one person who hunted in high school, there's probably only that many down here who DOESN'T hunt--me. ha!). But we share something greater. I'm still learning, everyday. And I need to be. I have so much to learn from those younger than me.

I know some of the girls from that group read my blog. I have a few things to say: One, I love you all. You girls taught me a lot about life--how to have fun, how to serve Christ, how to be relational. I wasn't perfect, and neither were you. Thank "The Fall" for that. But I still think of you often, pray for you, and stalk you on Facebook (that last one is probably the most obvious). Thank you for giving me the opportunity to grow as a leader! And please be gentle on your new intern. She's going to be going through a lot the next few months :)

Why I've Been MIA

2011-05-28T11:07:00.001-05:00

I haven't written in about a month. This is very odd for me, because I love writing, love blogging, and use both as a way of sorting my thoughts out. I've had a LOT of thoughts, trust me. And I have a list of things I WANT to blog about that will probably get cranked out here soon. I've even started writing some of them, I just had to stop and do other things. So this post is just to highlight my last month, I suppose. We'll see where it'll take us ;)

I was very very busy with school. Remarkably busy. I was very burnt out. Between exegeticals and projects, and exams...I was tired. I really didn't have time for anything else, but made time for my youth, scheduled in some social life, and relied on caffeine. Perhaps too much! Finals week, nothing seemed to pay off. I bombed every last one of my finals. Therefore I ended up with grades that were less than what I hoped. I ended out okay, and learning that you can not take 18 hours full of Bible and Theology classes, succeed, and be a successful youth pastor all at the same time, nevertheless add a social life beyond that. I was constantly frustrated, consistently burnt out.

I am ironically taking Biology in a week, but I am happy about that. It will give me the opportunity to see people "my own age" here in Bolivar as I spend the summer with youth. Last week I saw 2 people the whole week my age, and I realized that I am NOT a person of solitude or a person that was created to be alone. I need community and fellowship too much :). That being said, I have to prioritize what that is going to look like. This semester I have made a switch in who I hang out with. There is a difference in hanging out with Pharisees and participating in Pharisaical behavior. I ended up participating. Gossiping is so sickening to me, and I do it so much. Especially when people who are Christians spend all their time gossiping...It makes me literally sick to my stomach.

Right now I don't have a job outside of church. I'm a little in debt because of charging my credit card with gas for a few trips to help my dad move out of my house and going for my best friend's graduation. I really do not wish to see it build up interest. oogh. Just be praying for me in that area. I have seen God provide time and time again. I was just an idiot in spending money.

So what am I up to this summer? I'm going to be a youth pastor and a biology student, as of this point. I will hopefully score a job and pay off a little of school. I will relax and remember why I loved ministry, friendship, learning. I will think about what I'm going to do in a year when I am done with school and have to get a big girl job. I will knock off some of those new year resolutions. I will blog like a maniac! And I will continue growing to Christ's likeness.

This post is so random, don't even read it. Oh, too late. My bad.

A letter to SUMMER.

2011-05-10T14:39:00.001-05:00

Dear Summer,

I want you more than I have ever wanted you. I was crazy thinking that I could take 18 hours this semester, including some of the most challenging courses academically and spiritually I will ever take. I was crazy to put that on top of church work. I was crazy to take on extra assignments at church and personally. Then trying to be social with the organizations I am involved in. I was crazy.

But I did it. You are 10 days away. I am going to have great grades, possibly my best semester yet (if I pass that dumb class). I will keep you at the front of my thoughts, second only to Jesus, as I conquer that dumb class and all of my finals. We can do this. We can.

Then we can frolic in the fields together. I can sleep in your arms. You will give me a glow. It will be beautiful. I can read all those books I want to. I can focus on church. I can get another job (err...).

We will be beautiful together, you and me. Wait 10 days for me. Just 10. Then our love will increase. This will be our last time together, as in a year I might have to grow up, and our love won't exist anymore because a job will have to come before our love. Gross.

Love,
Heather

Irrational Trust in God?

2011-04-28T12:56:00.002-05:00

I trust in God too much.

Wait, what?

That's what was brought to my attention this week. I have been given a LOT to deal with in my short lifetime. I'm merely a babe of 21, and I have dealt with a lot of things that many will never understand or comprehend. I'm okay with that. And I don't want to glorify that, either. There have been times (I talked about this a little bit in my last post) where all I had to do WAS trust that God would provide for me.

God is a god for the poor, whether it's poor monetarily or in spirit. This is a theme throughout the Bible. God chooses to love on those who are hurting, those who according to society weren't the blessed, those who got picked last in dodgeball (it's biblical ;)). When I talk to mature Christians about their conversion experiences and times in their life when they began to radically follow Christ, that moment always follows a period of brokenness. Ben Rector put it in one of his songs that "You don't need Jesus until you're here," meaning, you only need Jesus when you get to that point of brokenness. Only when you realize there's that void, only when you realize you need something more, can you realize your need for Christ. God only calls those who need him.

I pray for brokenness alchl the time. If I try to do this on my own, I will get prideful and cast God aside. God provides that brokenness, and always provides peace in that brokenness. I have learned to really trust God in every aspect of my life. Recently, God told me to believe that he could provide something extraordinary, something that is outside of my comfort zone. I, knowing my God and knowing that he has always provided, trusted that he could provide even in this radical and irrational situation. And that's what someone (a Christian at that) called it--they thought it was irrational for me to believe that God could do this. Irrational? Trusting in God to provide? I'm pretty sure that's called Christian. Jesus the Christ, when calling his disciples to follow him, called them to leave their nets, their families, their comforts, renounce everything and hate everything in comparison to their love for him. That sounds like one of the most irrational things I have ever heard. Yet it makes so much sense. Following Jesus Christ is irrationally rational. When Jesus was teaching, nobody thought, "Wow, this guy is making so much sense." Everyone was like, "Who is this guy? What is he teaching? This is so different than the way I've been doing things."

I encourage you to think about the way you are following Christ right now. If it's easy, then you are doing something wrong (unless you get to a point of ultimate trust, where trusting in God is automatically done without second-guessing...but I doubt that many of us do that). We are called to live radically and irrationally with our time, with our money, with our talents, and with our love. I suggest you read Radical by David Platt. It changed my life. Literally. I can only say that about a few books. What this world calls radical, crazy, irrational, is what the Bible calls "Christian." Check it out and challenge me if I'm wrong.

(as a random note, sometimes I feel like links are my footnotes, as if I'm writing a paper or exegetical. LOL)

Where I'm at today...Broken.

2011-04-24T21:51:00.003-05:00

I have had a hard few weeks. Hard, hard, hard few weeks. I had four huge exams. I had two exegeticals due (and with that comes the learning of new scriptures and realizing that I'm doing a lot of things wrong...learning sucks sometimes ;]). We had a HUGE event at church that I have been planning for months, but still had a lot of work to do. We had missions week at SBU, and I made a big decision that I'll talk about later when I get the confirmation about somewhere I may serve next January...God has proven triumphant through his presence and peace throughout all of this.

I have been pondering whether or not to share this next part...

Last week I found out that my dad's house was being foreclosed on back in St. Louis. This has been a long-time coming. I don't think people really understand how poor my family is. I try not to "seem" poor, as silly as that sounds (you don't understand unless you've been there). My dad hasn't had gas in his house for 4 years (and no utilities off and on). Imagine getting ready for your senior prom and not being able to take a hot shower beforehand, imagine trying to sleep in subzero weather in a brick house that hasn't had heat in it for a long time, imagine trying to wash dishes with microwaved water...this was how it was for me. My dad just doesn't take care of himself. I prayed for God to get a grip on his hard heart, and I think it is beginning to happen. It was a difficult prayer to pray that my dad would lose his life so that he could find it, but part one was answered. God was triumphant in justice. So I cancelled my classes on Wednesday and Thursday and drove four hours to help them pack and say goodbye to my childhood home. This brought a lot of memories. As much as this needed to happen, it still stinks. I was reminded a lot about why I left home...and I was reminded how much I have "taken for granted" all the things I have now--hot showers, three meals a day, a warm bed, and clothes without holes. God is triumphant in his grace for those who draw near to him (and even those who don't, because I definitely don't sometimes).

While home, a tornado ripped through my area and destroyed a lot more of my memories--area churches that I had been involved with destroyed. Little Caesars (my dad's favorite food place) destroyed. KFC, the bank, 200 homes...all destroyed. Worst storm in 40 years for St. Louis. I drove around and saw the devastation. My heart broke once more. Yet God was triumphant and sovereign.

Today is Easter Sunday. I'm reminded of why Christ died on the cross. He died because my sins separated me from having a perfect relationship with my Creator--my Father who has never failed me, never abandoned me, never failed to provide for me. My Father who has blessed me beyond what I have needed at times, who has humbled me to be able to see his people the way he does. God is triumphant, and Jesus Christ dying on the cross is the ultimate picture of that. With his sacrifice, every filthy sin that I have ever committed or ever will commit is gone. My creator has consumed my heart and given me a new perspective on things. I am broken on all that is going on in my little "Heather" world. But it is a brokenness that brings peace. God is triumphant in my brokenness, because now that I am broken off from the world and shattered into little pieces, he can mold me into something greater.

I hope these words don't come off as empty to you...because they are far from it. I'm hurt, I'm in pain, but I can see that the shadow proves the sunshine.

I Will Wait For You

2011-04-23T22:38:00.002-05:00

When you speak, I will be reminded of Solomon's wisdom.
Your ability to lead will remind me of Moses.
Your faith will remind me of Abraham.
Your confidence in God's word will remind me of Daniel.
Your inspriation will remind me of Paul.
Your heart for God will remind me of David.
Your attention to detail will remind me of Noah.
Your integrity will remind me of Joseph.
And your ability to abandon your own will will remind me of the disciples.
But your abilitiy to love selflessly and unconditionally will remind me of Christ.
But I won't need to identify you by any special "Matthews" or any special "Marks" 'cause His word will be tatted all over your heart.
And you will know me, and you will find me
with the boldness of Esther
meets the warm closeness of Ruth
with the hospitality of Lydia
as aligned with the submission of Mary which is engulfed in the tears of a praying Hannah.
I will be the one drenched in Proverbs 31
Waiting for you.
But to my Father,
my Father who has known me before I was birthed into this earth
Only if you should see fit.

Watch the whole thing. This is my favorite excerpt. The ending stinks, to be honest. But stinks in a way that every woman needs to remember. You are waiting on that man, but first you are waiting on the Lord. Even if I never marry, I'm already engulfed in the biggest love story I will ever experience. God has been showing me lately how crazy his grace is, how he sought me and bought me with his redeeming grace. It stinks to think of the possibility of never having an "earthly love", but I remind myself that no man could love me like the Lord does anyway ;)

Free Student Ministry Curriculum: Poverty

2011-04-08T11:23:00.005-05:00

One of my "platforms" in ministry (because we all have them) is poverty and other social injustices. This is in part from experiencing poverty first-hand and seeing God's provision. But it's also in the fact that I cannot hear about the 30,000 children dying each day from malnutrition and not be moved, not want to do something about it. I can't hear about the millions around the world dying from AIDS because they aren't educated, dying from malaria and other diseases that are perfectly preventable. I just can't.

When planning for the 30 Hour Famine, I realized that there seems to be a lack of curriculum dealing with poverty. So I went hunting! Here is a list of some curriculum that I found, thought wasn't too shabby, and suggest for youth groups to use!

Perspectives on Global Poverty--$10 or download online for a donation (or for free). 8 Lessons
The Least of These: God, Poverty, and You--$50. By the YM360 team! There is a free sample on the site so you can preview a full lesson before you buy! 4 Lessons
30 Hour Famine: How to Study the Bible--Free. Written by Tim Schmoyer. You need to scroll down a little for this! 4 lessons
Ending Poverty in Community--Free. 6 Lessons
Hungry for the Kingdom--Free. Written by Kara Powell and Fuller Youth Institute especially for 30 Hour Famine. 4 Lessons
Bead for Life--Free. Not faith-based, but interesting facts and approaches.
The Five Talents--Free. or 4-6th grade, but can be adapted for other grades. 4 lessons.
Compassion by Command: Perspectives for Urban Ministries--$50. Targeted towards urban ministries. 4 Lessons.
Taking Root: Hunger Causes, Hunger Hopes--Curriculum for the whole congregation! Varies in prices (about 2.50 per book)
Hunger and Malnutrition--Free. Not faith based, but great curriculum nonetheless. Differing age groups. 3 Lessons.
Poverty Curriculum--Free. Not faith-based. Has curriculum on differing aspects of poverty.
Walk With the Poor--Free. Light curriculum. 4 Lessons

If you have any others, or have used any of these, please comment and let me know! When I am finished writing my 30 Hour famine curriculum, it will get posted here: _______ :)

Miriam: a woman of Position, Pride and Prejudice

2011-04-04T09:58:00.000-05:00

On Sunday mornings, I have the privilege to take my already-small youth group and break it down to where I teach an even smaller group for Sunday School. I contemplated if I wanted to change the way I do Sunday School since the group is so small, but I like that I only have to teach the high school girls on Sunday morning. And it's enabling us to do the Women of the Bible right now!

So I planned on doing Women of the Bible, and I planned on doing Miriam yesterday...then Sunday Morning I found out the middle school boys' teacher was gone, so they came in with me. Oops! But this lesson STILL spoke to them! Awesome :)

Miriam was Moses' sister. I honestly knew very little about her, even though I'm taking a Pentateuch class, even though I've read through Exodus, even though I've heard the Moses story 3974421 times AND have taught on it before. But no matter how many times I read a passage, I find that God still finds ways to teach me (just as when I taught Jonah!)

Miriam was a leader. In fact, in Micah it says that Moses, Aaron, and Miriam were the ones who lead the Israelites. God acknowledged her as important and essential. She led the women in praise after they crossed the Red Sea. She led the women to adorn the tabernacle. Not only was she a leader, but the Bible names her a prophetess, meaning that God spoke to her. This is a very special title for someone. There is no doubt about it--God was using Miriam in special ways.

But we find in chapter 15 that Miriam and Aaron got a little jealous. And I can just imagine this whole thing take place--I'm SURE that Miriam had to start this gossip, as I know how women are (and she was the one punished!). They start talking about Moses' wife, an Egyptian woman of who God had no problem with. So why were they against this woman if God had not said Moses could not marry her? Most likely had something to do with their own prejudices against darker skin. Then one of them suggests, "Has not God spoken to us too?"

Uh oh. Pride alert! WEEEEOOOOOOOWEEEEEOOOOOWEEEEEOOOOOO! (that's a siren sound!)

I love this part: God comes down in a pillar of smoke. Ha! Calls the three of them together into a meeting room. Then God blocks the doorway with the smoke! I can just IMAGINE being Miriam! It's like I just hit my sibling, and I turn around and Daddy's at the door with the paddle!

And a spanking Miriam got! She turned white with leprosy, an ironic punishment for two reasons: (1) Her prejudice against Moses' wife had to do with her skin color, or the fact that she looked different from everyone else. Now Miriam would look different from ALL of them! (2) Miriam wanted power, she wanted to be recognized. But having Leprosy means that she would be exiled. She wouldn't be able to be around people in order to lead them.

Aaron quickly humbled, as he turned to Moses and said, "My lord, do something!" Calling Moses "lord" showed his respect for him. Then Moses talked to God, and asked him to do something. And God stood his ground in his punishment, but compassionately let it only last 7 days.

You see, God knew what he was doing. God knew that Miriam was usable, that's why he chose her in the first place! God could have just wiped her off the planet, struck her down, turned her to dust. But he gave her a punishment that was fitting. She needed to be humbled, and I think after this she was. I can't imagine the "Walk of Shame" that took place as she walked back to camp. What's amazing is, it was time for them to move on in their travels, but they waited for her. They obviously respected her a lot.

This story shows us that even God's greatest leaders can struggle with pride. It also shows us that if a person has pride, God will knock it out of them! The punishment will be devastating, but needed.

When I was little, I got some whoopins. I grew up with boys, and they were constantly getting me in trouble. But spankings didn't change my attitude, so my mom came up with a new punishment: essay writing. Oh, how I hated this! It lasted hours, it caused me to think about what I did, in many cases it was pretty ironic because I usually said dumb things and had to pay for them...and it was rewarding. I changed my behavior. It humbled me to think about the stupid things I did, and I learned. Great job, mom!

Our Daddy is doing the same thing when he punishes us. Encouraging, but scary. Sometimes the spanking is quicker and "painless". ;)

How hard are your friendships?

2011-04-01T21:57:00.001-05:00

The other day I saw an article about Westboro Church protesting at Elizabeth Taylor's funeral. Why? Because she is an AIDS activist and friend to gays.

This post is not about Westboro. Not about Elizabeth Taylor. Not about homosexuality. Not about AIDS activism. I have plenty to say about each. What this post is about is friendship.

When I saw this, I tweeted (5 tweets long!): "Westboro is protesting Elizabeth Taylor's funeral b/c she was an AIDS activist & friend to gays. Really?! they'd be at mine too then.We are to produce fruit. What does that look like? Loving people, relationships w/ the scorned. Not hating people who are sinful. Remember: we ALL started out as depraved. Incapable of knowing good. You, by showing them goodness, could be helping 2 show grace too. In fact, if all your friendships are "easy", it's time to find new friends. Refer to the beatitudes for a few suggestions ;) Okay, off my theological #soapbox. My best friendships r the 1s I have to work at. That's where the fruit's at. Youthpastors should agree :)"

That's kind of the sum of this post, but I'm going to elaborate:

Christians are called to love--not just other Christians, but our enemies, the poor, sinners, your neighbors, everybody. It's not in our job description to hate or condemn. It's just not. Elizabeth Taylor was in trouble with those who claim to be followers of the same Jesus Christ who said all this for two reasons: being a friend of sinners and being an activist for the diseased. I remember that my Jesus in the Bible were both those things.

It's so easy to be safe in our Christian bubble--go to a Christian school in a Christian community with Christian friends and work with Christians in a Christian church. But that is tooooooooooooo easy. Fruit may come out of that, but not the best kind of fruit. Apples might get produced, but what about something more exotic? Something rarer? Sweeter? Papaya? :) (sometimes I think I'm hilarious)

If you want fruit to come out of your relationships, maybe you should seek out relationships that are harder--friendships with non-Christians? Friendships with the ignored? Friendships with those who are hurting and depressed? Or how about loving your enemies and treating them as if they aren't your enemies? It's difficult.

And I'm not perfect at this...in fact, quite the opposite. I'm the type of person where if a relationship isn't easy, I abandon it. But what kind of fruit does that produce? What could have happened with some of my relationships if I had worked at it instead of deciding it wasn't worth anything?

I'm down with Rebecca Black!

2011-03-20T17:03:00.001-05:00

Every time I have logged onto Twitter in the last week, I have seen one name: Rebecca Black. The other night, a friend of mine showed me Rebecca's music video, "Friday", that went viral. The lyrics are less than genius, the singing is completely auto-tuned, and the video itself is...well... hilariously bad.

The reason she has gotten so popular is because the song has been dubbed "the worst song of all time." And although that might be true in some ways, I've decided I love it and love her.

First of all, the responses have been absolutely terrible. People are telling her to "go cut herself and die", they are tweeting her that they are going to "come to her house with an ak47", and more. People are being downright rude and mean to her. It's terrible. What happened to the recent campaigns of trying to prevent bullying? We laugh at their comments, contribute, but what is it doing? Making a thirteen year old cry.

And that's a huge thing--she is THIRTEEN. Her song isn't about getting high, having sex, or adult love (which she had the option of doing a song like that, but she refused for something more "age-appropriate"). Her song is completely appropriate for being thirteen. Is it a funny song? Yes. Does she know the lyrics are dumb? Duh. But she's thirteen, people. I love me some Justin Bieber, but what does a 17-year old know about his "one love?" She's singing age-appropriate songs.

I laughed and laughed when I heard this song...and I still laugh. But then God reminded me--what if she was in my youth group? This girl is hurting.

And getting famous because of it.

So gon' head Rebecca Black! Do yo thang! And don't let people stop you!

And from now on, every Friday, I'm gonna be sing your song! Because then tomorrow's Saturday, and I always forget what comes afterwards, but then you reassure me it's Sunday ;)

It's Friday! (Lent Update)

2011-03-18T17:07:00.002-05:00

So I busted Lent. I listened to "secular music."

I watched Glee, which I allowed only on the stipulation that I watched it online and not on television (I went to a bible study instead).

Then I played copious hours of rockband. So not only did I listen to it, I played it. Although, judging by my score, it shouldn't count either.

Then I listened to Rebecca Black's new song, "It's Friday." Which once again, isn't good enough to be considered secular music. It's like Kidz Bop without an original artist. It's terrible.

But after justifying that all, I can't get that dumb Friday song out of my head. Maybe because it's so terrible. Maybe because it really is Friday. Maybe because every time I quote it or sing it, I get lots of attention. Maybe because I feel like obnoxious music this, the day my spring break begins.

Then I thought: What if I had God's word stuck in my head like this song? Jesus juked myself.

But seriously, wasn't that why I gave up secular music for Lent? Getting rid of music that was poisonous and entering prayer and scripture?

But I wasn't doing that last part necessarily. So not only did I "fail" Lent, but I really wasn't doing it all that good in the first place.

So, I'm starting over. And I'm doing it right this time. It wasn't that I was listening to Ludacris. But I failed at the point of giving up "secular" music (bad or not)--to get my mind focused on the song that God is trying to teach me as he sings over me :)

Insert Controversial Title About Hell Here

2011-03-15T23:38:00.004-05:00

Rob Bell said in his video promoting his new, very controversial book Love Wins, "What we believe about heaven and hell is incredibly important because it exposes what we believe about who God is and what God is like."

So to sum it up, our view of hell shapes how we view God. But I think that's doing it the wrong way. Our view of God should shape how we view hell.

One of the most popular views of hell is a fiery pit where Satan reigns and billions of people spend eternity for sins, big or small. Thus, God gets viewed as an unfair judge, and quite a bit less powerful, if Satan gets to reign in hell (which is false. For a concise layout of hell, read Mark Driscoll's post here). God isn't so loving, but judging. So of course, if Bell starts his theology with hell, he's going to come to the conclusions that he has come to regarding God and who he is, and what his love is like. Hell becomes a place for people who don't necessarily deserve it under the "traditional" view, and in denying that one begins to adopt a view that people are inherently good and can come to heaven many ways. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

But what if we start with God? I believe God is loving, caring, gracious, merciful, and jealous for my affection. I believe God is fed up with us not paying attention to him, yet is still pouring out grace and mercy. Thus I believe hell is a place for people who are constantly rejecting him, and they are getting what they truly desire--separation from God. Hell is not where God started when creating us, but what resulted from our separation from him. We ALL deserve hell, whether we think we are "good" or not, yet God has been gracious enough to let us escape it if we desire him.

Bell is completely on the mark when he says, "Millions and millions of people were taught that the primary message, the center of the Gospel of Jesus is that God is going to send you to hell unless you believe in Jesus. And so what gets subtly sort of caught and taught is that Jesus rescues you from God. But what kind of God is that?" Once again, we are beginning our theology with hell. And that's what gets taught in the church! I wonder how many "Christians" became so after hearing a fire and brimstone message? Only becoming a Christian to escape hell? What does that do to their view of God, if they are so afraid of him? How can they ever learn to love a God who just sends people to hell all the time?

What happens when our theology begins with God--where it should begin, as theology literally involves God to begin with? How much more loving does he look? You see, the point of Christianity isn't to escape hell. The point of Christianity is a restored relationship with our creator. Hell is the result of us denying that relationship. Christ didn't come to save us from hell or from a wrathful God, but to restore our relationship with Yahweh.

Bell makes some compelling statements, statements that many people make and resort to after hearing the fiery messages of God's wrath. And don't get me wrong, we should fear hell. It's not something anyone should desire. Yet the thing we should desire most is to be right with God--God. So. Loved. You. That. He. Sent. His. Son. To. Die. For. YOU. You, who are undeserving of such a thing. You, who daily deny him. You, who if you believe that God really does love you, and desire to have a relationship with your creator, can live for eternity with him. An eternity that starts right now. And guess what happens? Love wins.

Putting myself in the shoes of my students...

2011-03-10T13:07:00.007-06:00

Someone posted this picture on facebook today. Can you tell which one is me? haha.
(If you really can't guess, I am the white girl. The only one. More specifically, the one in the left-hand corner of that center pic.)

This picture is from the 6th grade, back in 2001! Wow! That feels like soooo long ago, yet it was only a decade ago. I hear that's a short amount of time in the grand scheme of things.

I can't stop looking at this picture. To me, this pic speaks volumes to me, as I begin remembering each individual in that class, remember how difficult that year was for me, and remember how stinking awkward I was. I was a 6th grade girl, unique from the rest of my class in many ways. It sincerely brings tears to my eyes thinking about that difficult time in my life.

I keep asking myself, "Is how I felt then how many of my youth feel now?" It puts things into great perspective for me. Do they feel different from the rest of people in school? Are they dealing with two-faced backstabbers? Are they dealing with gender roles? Identity issues? Sexuality? You bet. Race/ethnicity issues? More so than not. As hard as it was for me a decade ago, it's harder now for this group of middle schoolers. The times are a-changing.

I posted this really to inspire. I don't have any advice really. All I can say is this: When your teenager (whether it is in your youth group, or your child, or your sibling) comes to you with problems, are you putting yourself in their shoes? Look back and remember how difficult things were for you. Then remind yourself of how more difficult everything is now. And then have compassion.

Here are some more pics of me from middle school:

this was one of my best school pics, ever (6th grade)

My second trip to summer camp. I was 14.

this was when my friends and I thought it was cool to wear long dangly elegant earrings with t-shirts. or, one long earring and one stud.

this lady has been my best friend for the last ten years :)

I'm the white girl in the back. I used to hide in the back of photos. this was my youth group 8th grade year (going into high school)! I wore these dorky fake glasses, because that was my style.

This is from my freshman year of high school, but it's so dorky and I don't even know what I was thinking with that dress. haha.

Lent 2011

2011-03-08T13:03:00.004-06:00

I'm celebrating Lent this year, as I do every year.

"But Heather, you are not Catholic?"

I get that question all the time.

This is why I celebrate:
The 40 days of Lent represent the 40 days in the wilderness that Jesus spent praying. In order for Jesus, the Holy Son of God, to spend such an amount of time with God, don't you believe there had to be some sacrifices? Ya bet. When I look at my walk with God, I recognize a need for sacrifice. I want to be able to walk with God the way Jesus did. I recognize I can't just "drop" everything for 40 days, but what can I do? What can I do to get closer? One of the traditions of Lent is giving something up. Most give up soda, fast food, etc.

What am I giving up?
Last year I gave up Walmart, which was seemingly impossible to a college student like myself in a small town where Walmart is "The Mall." The reason I gave it up was because I spent a lot of unnecessary time there. When procrastinating, I would go there. We all know I have ADD-tendencies, so I can be in Walmart for hours. It was an excuse.

But I got to go bigger this year. I got to get where it hurts deepest (or at least deeper)

Secular Music?
Yes.
Why?
I spend so much time listening to it, to where it hurts me. I justify the music I listen to by saying it "doesn't affect me", or that it keeps me "culturally relevant." And although those might be true some days and might be some of the reasons, the biggest reason is, I love it too much. I love it too much to let go. So this is going to be the hardest Lent of my life...thus far at least.

Here are my rules (because I need them):

No listening to secular music--in the car, in my room, at work, at all.
I'm changing my secular ringtones to Jesus-loving ringtones. Goodbye, Katy Perry and Bruno Mars.
Instead of Glee, I will go to a Bible study. I needed to go anyway. And I won't allow someone to call me into work to justify sitting there and watching Glee.
Switchfoot counts, according to the Grammys. They beat out the reformed lyrics of Lecrae and David Crowder's melodies that can only come from God Himself, so Switchfoot MUST be the holiest music I can find, right? Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

So what's going to happen after these 40 days? Am I just going to pop in Ludacris and Lady Gaga and drop it like its hot? Don't think so. Normally after Lent, I realize that what I had wasn't really a necessity in my life, and I end up giving it up either for good, or at the very least it doesn't control me as much. In the past I've given up fast food and french fries, and I no longer desire either of them (except Taco Bell). What I'm giving up is something that I plan on giving up for good, or at least something that I plan on purging from my life to make room for some more Jesus.

Please check out this great resource for Lent. I'm going to be using it with my youth group!
Also, this is a great post on Lent as well. It explains almost everything you need to know!

Please comment with what you are giving up!

Christian-Speak #3--Apologies

2011-03-02T07:18:00.002-06:00

To me, one of the greatest proofs of the unity of the Body of Christ is when we humble ourselves and come to each other when we offend each other.

I realized this over the past month, when a member of my church came to me when they thought they offended me. They didn't even need me to say anything, they knew they messed up. I almost cried because I thought it was so beautiful for them to come to me, admit they screwed up, then proceed to tell me what God is doing in them and how I could pray for them. Wow! The other day, I had a professor apologize to me, which I thought was overwhelming--that a professor humbled himself to my lowly, undergrad level when they knew they said the wrong thing. I realized that this is what the Body should be doing--humbling ourselves when we have done something wrong.

What I think is ridiculous is this: When we come to each other, and say, "You know, this certain thing you said to me really offended me." Maybe explain why it offended you, maybe say that you've been struggling with that thing for a while. And what does the other person say? "You need to find your identity in the Lord, not in what I say." What? No apology? You're not going to admit you were wrong? So, I can say whatever I want now, offend whoever I want, and I can smooth it over with "Don't find your identity in what I say, but in God."

That is one of the most unloving things I have ever heard. Even if the person does struggle with identity issues, is this really a result of that? Could it be possible that you just had a moment of word-vomit and said something out of love?

Think before you speak, Christians. If we aren't humbling ourselves with each other, how are we going to humble ourselves in order to serve the world?

Comment and tell me what you think!

Stormageddon :)

2011-02-27T23:34:00.001-06:00

I hate posting twice in a day, but I wanted to write this on facebook and it wouldn't let me write all that I wanted:

Every time it storms, it makes me think of this song. Last summer it stormed a LOT. I would be driving home from my internship in the evening (about a 30-min drive) and it would storm like crazy, lightning crackling and just craziness. I would listen to this song as it the sky lit up. It was such a beautiful reminder to me that the God I worship is so much greater. That right now, there is lightning, but in a while there will be peace and stillness. God is glorified rain or shine, and it is all for his glory. I take this metaphor both figuratively and literally. The God I serve is powerful. So much higher than anything else in and outside this world we dwell in.

Plus, when the lighting is thundering and this track is bumping, it makes a great pair :)

Spiritual Gifts in Youth Ministry

2011-02-27T21:08:00.002-06:00

As a youth minister beginning a ministry basically from scratch in the church I began serving in five months ago, I knew that I needed to create a mission statement. Not just to be all Baptist and cool like that, but I knew I needed something to focus on--something as a template and frame for the ministry. I came up with, "Grace Fellowship Baptist Church Youth Group exists to unite teenagers together in the Bolivar community to teach them Biblical Truths, disciple them into mature believers, and equip them to express their faith through the use of spiritual gifts to reach the lost world."

So far, I had been teaching them Biblical Truths. I believe (and hope) that I had been discipling them into mature believers. But that last part? Equip them to express their faith through the use of spiritual gifts? Whoa. Spiritual gifts? Yep, that hadn't been done for the first few months of ministry (unless you count our epic Christmas skit).

So I knew I had to start somewhere. The first night, we looked at scriptures from Ephesians, Corinthians, and other passages and came up with a list of gifts. I gave them an inventory (you can find one like it here) to begin with. Although I know these tests aren't completely reliable, it helps us think about what our gifts could be. I have a notebook from when I was 13 and first took a test; and the gifts that I scored "high" in then, I score high in now and actually consider them my gifts. I had completely forgot that I even took one then, so it's kind of cool to see that the test was "right."

The next week we talked about the inventory, and laid out the "biblical foundation" for spiritual gifts. I gave them the following list of spiritual truths:
1. Every Christian has at least one Spiritual Gift (1 Peter 4:10)
2. No Christian has all the gifts (1 Corinthians 12:28-30)
3. We cannot choose our gifts; God does that job (1 Corinthians 12:7-11)
4. There is no gift that every Christian possesses (1 Corinthians 12:29-30)
5. Believers will account to the Lord for how they use their gifts (1 Peter 4:10)
6. Spiritual Gifts indicate God’s call and purpose for a Christian’s life (Romans 12:2-8)
7. Gifts used without love do not accomplish God’s intended purposes (1 Corinthians 13:1-3)
8. Spiritual Gifts are for the common good to build up the Body (1 Corinthians 12:27)
9. We must use our gifts. (2 Timothy 3:16; Romans 12; 1 Corinthians 12-14; Ephesians 4; 1 Peter 4)
10. There is affirmation and positive feedback within the Body of Christ for the expression of the gift (1 Corinthians 12:7; Ephesians 4:16)
11. There is agreement within the Body of Christ that the Holy Spirit is at work (1 John 4:1; 1 Thessalonians 5:21)
12. The Holy Spirit provides peace in our spirits as we offer our gifts to the Body of Christ (John 15:26; Romans 8:16)
13. There is evidence of godly fruit in the life of the Body (John 15:8; Matthew 7:16-20)
14. Believers offer their gifts for the common good as others have need (Acts 2:44-45; 1 Corinthians 12:7)
15. Unless gifts are offered in love, they have no worth (1 Corinthians 13:1-3)
16. We should strive to live a life worthy of our calling (Ephesians 4:1)

(I understand that some of those are redundant, but hey.)
When we were discussing that, I came up with a diagram. I'm big into diagrams, and I made this one up on the spot (and have tweaked it every week since). I'm actually quite proud of it (not in a prideful kind of way, haha).

It might seem confusing to you, but it is based off of all the verses in the "biblical foundation" I expressed before.

That took a night or two to go through, because I wanted them to really get into what the bible says and read almost all of the verses.

After that, we went through the gifts in depth. (You can download the workbook I gave them here...I used "Baptist-friendly" gifts, haha). We have spent a few Sundays going through it. We aren't reading all the scriptures associated, because they already understand that the gift exists through earlier scriptures. We have spent more than a month of Sunday nights doing this. I've been doing it with the Sunday night crowd for one main reason--the people who are most devoted to the church and to growing spiritually tend to come then. On Wednesday nights, you never know who is going to come, so it's easier to do it with the "regulars".

This won't be the first time we go through this sort of study. The hardest thing is trying to get them to think of ways to use their gifts now. It's hard when you say, "I have the gift of administration, what can I do with that as a 14-year old?" Part of my job is to help them come up with ways. Rethinking Youth Ministry posted a blog earlier today about how one youth pastor is trying to do it. I want them to get involved in any facet possible--music, ushering, recreation, leading studies/devotions, tech, prayer, etc.

What ideas do you guys have to help me out? How do you discuss spiritual gifts with your youth group? As a young minister, I would like help from those who have been through this before.

Christian Speak #2--Pray For Your Enemies

2011-02-23T09:39:00.001-06:00

Pray for your enemies.

We say this all the time as Christians, and a lot of time it's our way of saying, "I can't stand them, so I'm going to say the right Christian thing so that I can keep talking bad about them in a seemingly Christian manner."

I think that we also peg non-enemies as enemies, as well. Someone cuts us off? Pray for your enemies. Someone confronted you? Pray for your enemies. Someone stole your woman? Pray for your enemies.

And what if we really are true to what we are saying? That we really do pray for our enemies? What do we say? "Dear Lord, I pray for Betty Lou, that you can destroy her tomorrow. That you can expose her hypocrisy to those around her, and that people will start understanding her for who she really is."

Wow. I have prayed that prayer.

But wait, the verse that we quote "pray for your enemies" says this:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." (Matthew 5:43-48)

This verse says to treat our enemies the same way we treat our friends. Is that prayer loving our enemies? Do we pray that prayer for our friends? "Dear God, I pray for my best friend, that you can expose her ignorance and make people see all her flaws." I don't think that's what I say when I pray for my best friends.

What is it going to look like then? "Lord, I pray for John. I pray that he can have a good day today. I pray that there will be people who surround him today with love. I pray for this situation that I know he is struggling with, that you can give him discernment. Lord, I pray that I can show him that I love him."

That hurts, doesn't it? Praying such a prayer for people we can't stand?

But try it. I have lately. I realized that I wasn't praying for my "enemies" like I should. And now I'm able to see some people in a different light. It's humbling, and I hope that I can continue praying for my enemies and those who have really hurt me. And I hope that those I have hurt can pray for me in the same way.

Affirmation (Video)

2011-02-21T21:12:00.001-06:00

What if every morning we looked in the mirror and said this? Did this? How would our day change?

Feel free to comment. I like comments :)

A Pride of Pride

2011-02-20T13:01:00.002-06:00

I don't think I knew I had a pride problem up until a month or so ago. I thought I had a "normal" amount of pride, but I didn't realize that this is something that I struggle with, something that I have to put an "extra" amount of fight into.

Pride is like a dandelion. Dandelions root deep into your yard. They are terribly hard to get rid of. It requires digging them deep from the root, or even chemicals. If you have just one dandelion, it could spread and infect your whole yard. And if you are living next to a yard with dandelions in it, it WILL spread to your yard. So sometimes we just ignore the dandelion. Call it a "flower" when it's really a weed. We let it grow all over the yard, blend into our flower beds, and it gets out of control. Very easily. In order to get it under control, it requires almost daily maintenance. It sucks.

Pride roots deep into us, and is incredibly difficult to get rid of. In order to get rid of pride, we have to dig into the root of it (our innate desire to sin?). It requires deep cleansing, deep chemicals to get rid of it. It requires finding our identity in God, soaking ourself with the word. If we are surrounded by people with pride issues, it is going to impact us and we are going to struggle with pride as well. Sometimes, we choose to ignore that we have a pride problem. We justify it by saying that our behavior is part of being someone in authority; or that it isn't pride, it's happiness or loving who we are. When in fact, it's our own conceit. By justifying it, pride turns into other sins, and chokes the progress we have made and negates our progress. In order to get rid of pride, we have to daily remind ourselves to be humble and get in God's Word.

I don't know when I started being prideful. Perhaps it was there all along, perhaps it just developed, but that doesn't seem to matter anymore. I know that it roots in my lack of self-confidence, so I would buff myself up to make myself feel better. I know it roots in that I do a lot of things, yet I forget to include God in it all the time. I know that my pride has crept into my schoolwork, my relationships with my friends, my relationships with the opposite sex, and my position in church. I know that in order to fight this, I'm going to have to remind myself every day of humility. I'm going to have to fight this problem as if I'm fighting dandelions.

If you are reading this, and you have been hurt by my pride and snobbery, I am deeply sorry. Pray for me to grow and become humble. I have taken some steps already, but I know that I can't do this without God and without a community of believers praying for me.

I thought this was a funny tattoo. and appropriate :)

God's Love

2011-02-15T00:05:00.001-06:00

If I am teaching Jesus' words, if I am prophesying in God's name, if I am doing service projects and going to Bible school, but have not love, I might as well be doing nothing at all; for I am nothing and am doing nothing if I'm not doing it with love.

God so loved the world that he sent his only son to die for us.

What great love God has given us, that we might be called his children! His friend! His bride!

A man said to Jesus, "What must I do to get into heaven?" Jesus said, "First off, love God with all that you have. Second, love your neighbor as yourself. This is the most important thing you can ever do."

For true love is this: Jesus laid down his life for us. So that we might also do the same.

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

Love is greater than hope and even faith.

If you do not know love, you do not know God.

The greatest love is to give your life for your friends. For your enemies. And for your God.

God is Love.

Love comes from a pure heart, a good conscience, and a sincere faith.

God will know his followers by love.

Love covers a multitude of sins; if we have sincere love for one another, we'd be committing a lot less sins.

Nothing. Nothing. Absolutely NOTHING can separate us from God's love.

-------------------------------------------------------

As I was going to bed tonight, I started asking God, what do you want to tell me? And all these verses started coming to me.

The other day I was thinking about unconditional love. Love without conditions. We think that love has to be earned. But true unconditional love STARTS OUT without conditions. Did God have any conditions for loving you? No. He started loving you even when you "didn't deserve it."

The truth is, God is WILD about you. And if you don't know that, believe it. It overwhelms me at times. I don't deserve it. But he loved me for no reason at all; he loved me even when I made a mess out of my life.

And now, my mission is to love others. For God will know that I am his follower by the way that I love.

If you want in on this love, please message me. Facebook me. Email me. Get in on this love. Nobody can love you like God can.

Why I Love Luther

2011-02-10T13:43:00.001-06:00

I never used to like history. I thought it was boring. I used to hate knowing different theologies of different people. I thought it was a waste of time. All I wanted to do was love on teens, and give them the gospel.

But I'm loving history more and more, and loving learning about theology more and more (so much I now minor in it). I groaned at the thought of taking "History of Christianity" this semester, but let me tell you--my heart is changed. I am fascinated.

The other night I read about Martin Luther. I've read about his guy 30487 times, but something really hit me the other night. Luther wanted so badly to obtain salvation. He desired more than anything not to go to hell and to have a restored standing in God's eyes. Luther went on pilgrimages, beat himself, and was constantly confessing his sins to become closer to God. I can't even begin to wrap my mind around it. In his quest, he ended up denying the church's means of atonement through indulgences. Luther desired God so much that he even spoke out against the church's practices and began a movement of reformation. And this inspires me. Do I desire the Lord that much? What have I done that shows this?

Christian-Speak #1--"I'll Pray for You"

2011-02-06T14:40:00.003-06:00

(this is a start to a series! I think as Christians, we sometimes say particular phrases thinking that it sounds super "Christian", but it ends up being heartless through our abuse of words. I'm not sure what I'll call the series permanently, but look out for more posts!)

I think we can all relate to the following situation: Someone who isn't necessarily close to us comes to us with a concern, and pours out their heart to us. They kind of smack us in the face with this situation, and whether we really care or not, our response is, “I’ll pray for you.”

But do we? Or do we “forget” about it?

How many times have you told someone you would pray for them, but you “forget”? How many times has it probably been important for you to pray for them? And since when has “I’ll pray for you” become a substitute for “Convo over, get out of my face”?

I am guilty of this. Verrrrry guilty. I’m trying to make a practice out of, if someone genuinely needs prayer, to stop whatever I’m doing and pray for them. Even if they “pop” me on Facebook chat or send me a text message and pour their concerns to me, I can type a simple prayer to comfort them. Prayer is powerful, and it connects the body together and does some fantastic things. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve just stopped and prayed “anyway”, even though I didn’t really “care” for the situation; then after praying for them my heart breaks for them. I feel like if we truly mean it when we say to our brothers and sisters, “I’ll pray for you,” the body of Christ will strengthen. We will begin to understand each other’s concerns more, as well as creating an atmosphere of comfort.

"Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working." James 5:16

"Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words." Romans 8:26

“And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words." Matthew 6:7

"Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven." Matthew 18:19

"Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving." Colossians 4:2

Barriers in Youth Ministry...that YOU put up!!!

2011-02-02T10:13:00.001-06:00

When we think of barriers in youth ministry, we automatically think of...what? Time? Money? Parents? ;)

But have you ever thought of how YOU are contributing to these barriers? And what barriers are you setting up yourself?

Age--So you're a few decades older than the students. Or maybe you're only a few years older than the students. Age is nothing but a number, right? Age indeed puts up a barrier, but perhaps we make a bigger deal out of it than it really is. I know, as a very young minister myself, that I often struggle with, "How am I going to be a cool mentor and an authoritative adult at the same time?" One of my biggest pet peeves is ministers or adults who call teenagers "kids". Teenagers don't need another person calling them a kid. They want to be seen as adults, want to be seen as more mature, and "kids" degrades them. It also sets up the barrier of "I'm soooo much more older than you." Another way you can set this barrier is talking about events in your life as if they were SUPER long ago. Maybe they were, maybe they weren't. But if you talk about events as if you are 137 years old, you are probably going to lose your rapport with the teen.

Sin--This seems pretty obvious. Yet I'm not necessarily talking about the sin you currently struggle with; I'm talking about the sinful life you once lead. Sometimes we glorify our sin so much, that people can't relate to us. It's good to talk about how you were completely different before we met Christ. Yet sometimes in the midst we separate ourselves from our audience in the process. And not just our sin, but our whole testimony. I'll give an example: Last summer I worked at a church in the suburbs. Most of the teens I worked with had nice houses, nice cars when they turned 16, had Christian families, and lived pretty nice lives (on the outside, of course. they still had problems). So I came in, and from the bat presented my testimony--this girl from the hood, grew up very poor, committed every sin possible. Was that wrong? No. Yet I dwelled on my past, I brought it up a lot, and created a gap between my girls and I. I made myself un-relateable. I have fought hard and God has done a great work in me, so that I don't HAVE to think about who I once was anymore. This race is about pressing forward, not running backwards. I have seen a lot of other leaders at conferences and such make this same mistake.

Time--If we have a second job, or also are going to school, or have a family, sometimes we make it seem like we are completely busy all the time. Even if we are, if we convey that the wrong way to teens, they might think that we are too busy to help them. They might think that they are not worth our time, so if they really do have a big problem they need help with, they might hesitate to come to us. After all, we are really busy, right? So there is this barrier of "I have too much to do" that turns into teens finishing off your statement with "to help me".

What are some other barriers that you put up unintentionally? I"m guilty of all three of these (not that I'm trying to glorify it!)

A Radical Christianity

2011-01-27T19:58:00.003-06:00

I read Radical by David Platt a few weeks ago, and I have been processing it. This book has seriously changed my life and my way of thinking. I encourage you to read it.

The book is about how we, as "followers of Christ", haven't been following the real Christ. We have been following our own, Americanized Jesus that we have crammed into our quest for the American Dream. We have molded Jesus into our own image and rationalize his words in order to fit ours.

When Jesus called his disciples, he called for them to drop everything and follow him. People would come up to him and ask, "What does it take to follow you?" And Jesus would tell them to sell all of their things, leave their careers, not even go back and tell their families goodbye, and completely leave their whole life behind. We read these stories and go, "Yeah, Jesus, I could do that for you!" However we know that Jesus would never ask us to sell everything to follow him. Jesus doesn't want us to be poor and starve to death! And Jesus would never ask us to leave our families behind. Who else is going to take care of them? Jesus would never ask us to be uncomfortable.

Lies.

Jesus constantly told them that they were going to endure hardships in order to follow him. They had to suffer if they were going to follow him properly. But do we? I wrote a post a year ago (exactly) entitled, "Finally Understanding What it Means to Die to Self," and although my insight was good, and I was learning a lot at that time in my life, I did not indeed fully understand what it meant.

What are you going to have to do in order to follow Jesus? What is it going to take? Is Jesus really asking all of his followers to become hobos and forget their families in order to follow him? Surely not, at least that's what we hope. So then no one steps up and lives radically so that another person might live eternally. We have grown up being told that we must attain the highest status of money, status, and material things possible. But that's the complete OPPOSITE of Jesus' message!

So what are we to do? What are you to do? I can't tell you what you specifically are supposed to do. I encourage you to read the book and read the Gospels and have a serious talk with the Lord about what it is going to look like for you to live radically. I am going to share some of the things that I am going to do:

Sacrifice my money. First and foremost, I'm going to make sure that I tithe, no matter what. Secondly, I am going to refrain from buying things that I do not need. I have never had very much money; by America's standards I am classified as low-class and always have been. If you know much about how I grew up, you would know that my dad has not had heating in his house for the last 3 years (including when that foot of snow hit there last week). But even though I am considered dirt-poor by our American standards, I am still richer than 75% of the world just because I have a roof over my head and clothes on my back. What am I going to do in order to sacrifice my money--sacrifice it, meaning giving it in a manner that hurts me in order to glorify the kingdom? I sponsored a child last year through Compassion, but had to give it up because I couldn't afford it anymore. But I cut down on my phone bill and now have an itty bitty plan, and I am going to go deeper. I'm not sure what that looks like completely. I'm thinking a few things--donating my money to people's mission trips, starting random acts of kindness for people, keeping money for when someone I know needs money and just giving it to them (paying it forward; I can't tell you how many times I have been blessed by anonymous donations when I was strapped). I'm also going to put a lot of money into my next point:

Go overseas. I have made up excuses for a long time on this one, and I am honestly still terrified (and this is coming from someone who loves learning about other cultures!). I am going to go on a mission trip overseas. Before Jesus ascended into heaven, he said, "Go and make disciples of all nations..." I have always read this and added at the end, "if you're called!" and I know many who do the same. But I am convicted that it is my responsibility to go overseas and preach the Good News. Does this mean that I am abandoning my calling to innercity ministry? No. It means that I am going to other nations and not just sticking in my comfortable bubble. In order for me to leave my comforts and follow Christ in a radical way, I need to go overseas.

Leave my family. I read this book while I was visiting my family for Christmas, and it convicted me and caused a week straight of crying while I was home. My family has been a stumbling block for me for a long time now. My parents do not have relationships with Christ, as far as I can tell by their fruits and lifestyles. I am constantly being weighed down by them. I have noticed for the past few years that when I am around them, I get the most selfish and most "un-Christlike". This is due to their lifestyles' impact, as well as the pressure of being Christ-like, as well as many other factors I'm sure. I have realized that it is almost impossible for me to be a "good Christian" around them. I try so hard, but I can't do it. In order for me to follow Christ, I need to leave my family. This doesn't mean I'm never going to talk to them ever again, that's not what I'm saying. I need to become completely dependent on God and quit being dependent on them. Luke 14:26 says, "If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple. " As much as I love my family, my love for them needs to look like hatred compared to my love for Christ. Am I willing to take a bullet or a beating for my little sister? What more am I prepared to endure for Christ? That bullet needs to look like I'm getting a daisy compared to what I'm willing to go through for my Lord. So I'm going to detach myself. I'm going to focus on trying to figure out what it looks like to follow Christ. I'm not going to base my identity on how often my mom doesn't call me, or trying to win over my grandma's love, or being my sister's parent. This is the hardest decision I have ever made, but it is necessary for me to follow Christ.

This message of "Give up absolutely everything that is comfortable in order to follow me" is completely different from "Admit, Believe, Confess!" that we hear in our churches. We read the gospels and say to ourselves, "Jesus didn't really mean that we have to give up everything. Just that we should be willing to. It's figurative." Oh, is it? Are you willing to bet on it? Is that a risk you are willing to take?

This Semester...and other rambling! :)

2011-01-25T17:37:00.002-06:00

Well, this semester is going to be very interesting, very difficult, and very worth it! I'm taking two upper-level Bible courses, Life and Teachings of Jesus Christ and Pentateuch. I was convicted to take Pentateuch after realizing that some of my students probably know more about Genesis than me (they are also focusing on that in Sunday School, so that adds to it!). I love Dr. Bayer, he is one of the funniest professors I have ever had! He's very intelligent, yet funny at the same time. And scatter-brained. I bet that if I were an old man who taught Old Testament and knew Hebrew I would be just like Dr. Bayer. pahahaha. As for Life and Teachings, I'm pretty pumped and rightly nervous. I heard this class is going to rock my faith and cause me to ask a lot of questions. I'm excited to learn about what Jesus was really like, not the Jesus that we have fit into our Americanized Christianity.

Speaking of, here is an image that I found today and thought was interesting:

I'm also taking Principles of Teaching, an easy yet informative class; Camp and Retreat Administration, which I heard mixed things about but am excited about; Guitar, enough said pahaha; History of Christianity 2, which I'm getting used to Dr. Bass so I'm sure I will do well; and Apprenticeship. Apprenticeship is a class where I document every single little thing I do with my youth group. Dr. Jones, beware. I do a lot. I don't think he understands exactly what he is asking of me. But I am excited to learn how to baptize people and all that other cool stuff that you don't learn in theology classes.

Which also brings me to another ramble, I'm officially a theology minor. Oh yesh. I'm getting smarter by the second. And more arrogant. Which reminds me... please pray for me, that I will be more humble. I'm really struggling with my pride. The only pride that I want to have is a pride full of lion's (Lecrae song reference!). Thank you guys for affirming me privately about who I am in Christ. It means a whole lot.

Mirror, Mirror

2011-01-18T11:00:00.003-06:00

What if my relationship with the mirror "reflected" my relationship with God?

(hahahaha, I had to make that pun)

I was thinking about this tonight as I was preparing to go out--how many times do you look in the mirror? When you get up in the morning and get ready, you spend a good thirty or so minutes in front of the mirror. When you brush your teeth that two or three times a day, you look in the mirror. How about each time you use the bathroom, do you check yourself out in the mirror while washing your hands? Before you leave to go somewhere, quick look in the mirror to make sure there are no blemishes or marks or food on your face? And even when just passing one of the many mirrors around us, take a look? Pull out your phone to look after eating to check your teeth?

The point is, we look in the mirror NUMEROUS times throughout the day, even if you are not particularly narcissistic. You spend a lot of time in it the morning, and probably quite a bit before going to bed at night. Throughout the day you are continuously interacting with the mirror. What if our relationship with God was the same? What if we interacted with God and "checked in" with him all throughout the day instead of compartmentalizing him into one part of the day?

How about this--what if we relied on God like we do mirrors? When you look in the mirror, do you ever doubt what you see? What if you thought about God like this? And when you look to God to give you truth about who you are, whether it's to affirm your identity or reveal blemishes, how do you react? Do you believe him and do something about it, or act like the mirror is a funhouse mirror?

I pray that I might spend as much time with God at least as much I do in front of the mirror, and certainly as often. I pray that I might rely on God like I do mirrors to reflect my divine image and to reveal my blemishes and the areas I'm screwing up in.

Happy Birthday to the King

2011-01-15T10:18:00.003-06:00

Today is Martin Luther King, Jr.'s birthday. A random fact about me is, I LOVE Dr. King. He was a Baptist minister, a civil rights activist, and an amazing speaker. He mixed politics with religion in a healthy way. He was amazing. This is one man that I cannot wait to meet in heaven.

[For you debbie downers out there who are going to comment on this and tell me that Dr. King was a terrible human and cheated on his wife, please remind yourself of the sin in your life. Kthanks.]

Also, the national holiday is on my birthday this year! Growing up I'd have the day off from school, but I'm not taking a class so I'm going to sleep in and make an omelette! Or something. I don't know. I'm just making this up. I really don't have a birthday. Who is Dr. King? Just kidding. Just kidding. Just kidding. bahahaha. :)

Here are some of my favorite quotes:

We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.

Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.

He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it. He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it.

History will have to record that the greatest tragedy of this period of social transition was not the strident clamor of the bad people, but the appalling silence of the good people.

I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant.

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made straight and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together.

I look to a day when people will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.

I submit to you that if a man hasn't discovered something that he will die for, he isn't fit to live.

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.

Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.

Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.

That old law about 'an eye for an eye' leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing.

We may have all come on different ships, but we're in the same boat now.

We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.

A Birthday song for me :)

2011-01-15T00:58:00.004-06:00

My friends Kim and Jess wrote this song for me for my birthday :)

LYRICS:
Well it dawned on me when I logged onto Facebook
It's Heather's birthday, I knew with just one look
it had to be something great
that's why we showed up late
a Redford lady straight from the hood
man i really wish that I could dance just like she could
and she really likes to laugh
and probably take baths

But we won't hesitate
to celebrate
this day with you
it's true
you're turning 21
it's so much fun
now you can drink
but you can't cause you go to SBU

if there is a craft you bet she'll be there
she'd probably take you up on any triple dog dare
her name is Heather Lea Campbell
and one thing she's not is dull

But we won't hesitate

to celebrate

this day with you

it's true

you're turning 21

it's so much fun

now you can drink

but you can't cause you go to SBU

-----

I love my friends :)

My Visit to Seminary

2011-01-12T23:35:00.003-06:00

I had the opportunity this week to visit a seminary. To be honest, I wasn't sure what to think. Going into college, I was just excited about getting an undergrad degree. As college progressed, I began to think more and more about seminary. Seminary is basically grad school that is only focused on theological degrees.

The same concerns that I had before visiting seminary are the same concerns I have now. Which is discouraging, but at the same time all my questions were answered and now I have a lot to think about.

Here are some of the things I'm thinking about.

Seminary seems like an extension of my undergraduate degree in ministry. Most of the people who attend seminary have their undergraduate in something completely unrelated to ministry or theology. Most of the classes they are taking I have already taken. Granted, they are at a much higher level of difficulty, but they are similar. A lot of churches require for youth ministers to have a seminary degree, but I wonder if, because my undergrad is essentially the same thing, if it really matters.
If in fact it does matter, do I want to be in a church that requires seminary? I know that it's extremely important to have training in theology and such; that is why my undergrad is in ministry. Duhhh. But I don't know if I desire to work in a fancy-pants church. I honestly would rather just go to the inner-city and live among the desperate and give them the raw gospel. You don't need seminary to do that. Heck, you don't need college to do that. Yet I am in college trying to make myself smarter. I'm afraid that if I get any smarter, I'll become super-arrogant. I've exhibited the signs. There may be no turning back.
Also, what is more important, education or experience? I'm completing an undergrad in ministry, a program similar to many seminaries. I am also already a youth minister while in college. Who will someone hire, a person who graduated from seminary, or a person who has already served as the head honcho of a youth group for a few years? I'm just saying.
Am I going to be able to use the extra theology in ministry? Again this comes back to arrogance. I don't want to make myself so smart, that I'm not able to relate to teenagers anymore (especially inner-city teens). There was one guy that I talked to this week, and he has a similar path that I'm taking-undergrad in youthmin, youthminister at a church, attending seminary. When I asked if he's applying seminary, he didn't convince me with his answer. He then revealed he's thinking about becoming a head pastor one day, and then it was clear to me that his seminary classes were more for that.
I'm a girl. *shock* From what I hear, the girls on a seminary campus are one of two breeds: super-shy awkward girl or super-crazy liberal feminist. I'm neither. My theology is surprisingly to some not feminist (even though I'm a female in ministry) and I'm not shy and not awkward by accident. I also heard that females on campus are like cars-taken or broken. Soooo basically...... well I don't have to say how that makes me feel (pretty self-explanatory).

Readers, don't think that I'm saying seminary isn't important. I'm just orating the thoughts sprouting into my head so that I can iron them out. Any feedback would be nice :)

Oh, also, if you are a youth minister who went to a seminary, you mind giving me your outlook?

Jonah the Crybaby

2011-01-10T01:51:00.004-06:00

Well, I told myself I wasn't going to post another blog until after I got back from Kentucky. But then I remembered a few things:

When I get back from Kentucky, I'm going to want to post about Kentucky.
I should talk about this while it's fresh on my mind.
I don't feel like going to bed yet, even though I leave in 4 hours for a 9-hour drive to Kentucky.

So, onto Jonah. I studied Jonah last week for my Sunday School lesson with the high schoolers. We've been going through the minor prophets, which I have honestly loved. It's been very refreshing to read the MPs in a new way, because I'm trying hard to understand what's going on in order to teach it.

Anywho, so Jonah one day was eating his cereal, when God tells him, "Go to Nineveh and preach destruction to them." Jonah drops his spoon and is all like, "Forget THAT!" and flees towards Tarshish. He pays a fare and boards a boat. So then a huge storm comes, and the sailors are automatically like, "Okay, whose god is ticked off?" They then realize that Jonah is downstairs sleeping, still running away from his problems, and ignoring a huge storm outside the boat. The sailors realize that Jonah is running away from his god, the God. Jonah's just like, "Look, just throw me over." (This might seem brave to the reader, like he's coming to the realization that he can't run away from God anymore; but I think it's just a part of his crybaby act). I don't understand why, but the sailors think it's a good idea to just try to row back to land, but they realize that they have to do it--so they throw Jonah overboard. Then a huge fish gulps Jonah right up, and Jonah begins crying and praying to God. He repents, and God tells the fish to spit him up (after three days and three nights of course!). So now Jonah finally goes to Nineveh, and preaches what God tells him. And what do you know? The whole city repents. You'd think Jonah would be excited, right? His preaching and prophesying worked! Nope! He gets mad and yells at God, "I knew it! I knew you would just have compassion on them! That's the kind of God you are!" Kind of a funny prayer to me. So he runs away and sits outside the city, waiting to see what will happen, as if God will change his mind about having compassion. He takes shade under a tree, but God sends a worm to eat its leaves and Jonah starts feeling that sun. He gets so angry that he wants to DIE. He cries again to God, and God says, "You care for that tree right?" Jonah replies, "So much, that without it I just want to die!" God responds, "Well you sure care for that plant a lot. But how much more do I care for a great city like Nineveh, with tons of animals and needy people?"

So what do we take from Jonah the big crybaby, anyway?

We can NOT run away from God. No matter how hard we try. We can't do it. And if we try, God will find us! Oh yeah. In all seriousness, if it is God's will and God commands us to do something, we are eventually going to have to do it. So save the trouble and the energy and just go do what he tells you to do. Trust me; when God called me to work with youth, I ran away and got myself into a pickle myself. And God got his way in the end :)
God is going to have compassion on all sorts of sinners. I thought about the parable of the vineyard, how each person was paid the same amount for varying amounts of work. Seems unfair, right? But we need to remember that no matter what you did, how much sin you committed, etc, the reward is the same under the grace of God. God will have compassion for you when you repent, no matter what the sin is. This is hard for me sometimes, when I think about someone like a child molester possibly getting into heaven. I would classify this man as a pedophile or sex offender for the rest of his life; but the truth is that if he comes to Christ, he is redeemed and achieves sainthood just like me. I can honestly see why Jonah was so cheesed. It's the flesh in me that wants justice in this situation, but luckily I am not the judge.
God cares for us DEEPLY. Jonah wanted to die, just because the plant giving him shade died. In the same way, God desires to see us growing and cares for us immensely. I think it's funny that Jonah was like, "I knew it! I knew you'd have compassion on them! Oh God full of grace and compassion!" It makes me laugh! I think that it is our responsibility, as believers and followers, to exhibit this same kind of love to others. Jonah cared for a PLANT. What would happen if he cried over people the same way as he did a plant?

Well, I hope you enjoyed my post on Jonah, a huge cry-baby. But you know what? I'm just like him in many ways.

ps, I really like that Jonah is so fast-paced. Very different from the other prophets so far ;)

New Design? yes :) Oh yeah, and some resolutions.

2011-01-08T00:36:00.002-06:00

Well, you know me. Can't sit still for too long. So I redid the background a little. I wanted things to look a little more polished, and I hope this accomplishes that. I hope.

So I'm normally not into resolutions, but I decided this year to adopt a "bucket list" of things to do.

Ps, the origin of the term "bucket list" comes from the term "kick the bucket", which means to die. So essentially a bucket list is a list of things that a person wishes to do before they die. But hey, since the world is ending in 2012, I guess this list can work the same way ;)

Heather's 21 Resolutions for 2011
(Why 21? because I turn 21 in 10 days :D)
1. Go out of the country. This is a huge one for me. I have made up excuses for a LONG time for not doing this. But I'm extremely convicted. So this is going to happen.
2. Try saurcraut. It's my mom's least favorite food, so thus I've never had it.
3. Pick up speaking Spanish again. I used to speak it all the time. There's no reason for me to lose 6 years of classes for nothing.
4. Crash a wedding.
5. Eat pizza with anchovies. I just wanna know why everyone thinks its so fishy! ha.
6. I will regain my love for reading and read copious amounts of books.
7. I will do all my homework...........................................maybe.
8. Buy one of those page-a-day devotion calendars and read it every morning as I brush my teeth.
9. Blog once a week.
10. Sing a solo in church. I used to all the time when I was a kid.
11. Become the owner of Quelf.
12. I will meet my future husband. ;)
13. Host a dance party.
14. Eat healthier (had to throw a boring one in there!)
15. I will whip my hair back and forth when I encounter opposition.
16. Double the size of my small youth group.
17. I will visit a beach. I have never been to a legit beach.
18. I will sing in the shower at the TOP of my lungs when all my housemates are here.
19. Keep track of my budget and not use my debit card even half as much.
20. I will not get on Facebook in class..............maybe.
21. I will become addicted to the show "My Strange Addiction."

What are some of your Resolutions? :)

Way Past My Bed-Time...

2011-01-06T01:48:00.002-06:00

I have spent 4-5 hours every day for the past week reading blogs by other youth ministers. I don't know why. I don't particularily like to read, although I am growing more fond of it as I'm reading material that I'm actually interested in.

One thing that I really like about reading these blogs is the sense of community that I feel. I feel like I'm not alone in the ministry. Sometimes it's easy to feel that way. Today I was feeling particularily discouraged because my students really want us to get bigger and do "huge things" like go to Mexico or have a huge conference (things that "first baptist does"!).

Anywho, if you are reading this, please pray for me :) I have 2 and a half weeks left of my "break" before I start up the semester again. I have 18 hours full of some of the most difficult classes I will ever take, along with "part-time" ministry (let's be real, there's no such thing as part-time), and another job. This next few weeks, I need to get serious and plan out my year as much as possible, as well as start on some exegeticals that I know I will have to write.

I know this post is random, but hey, it's 2:00 am and I have been consistently staying up this late for the past week. Probably because I've been reading all these blogs. See! It all connects!

Blessings, love, and sleep,
Heather

ps, isn't it weird to say that we are in 2011? weird.

A Woman Youth Minister

2011-01-04T21:47:00.002-06:00

I think this post has been processing in my brain for the last three years, and was just waiting to bust out. What is it like to be a woman youth minister?

Well, let me tell you :)

Although I've only been the head of a youth group for four months now, I can definitely see the advantages and disadvantages of being a woman in a leading role of the church. I am very lucky to have a church that completely supports me as a woman in ministry, and also realizes that for the type of youth group they have, a woman leader seems to fit really well.

What are the advantages I have on men? Well, we're gonna get pretty cliche and stereotypical here. Women are more emotional, and men are more physical. Thus, women are more relational and want to dig into students' lives more emotionally. Women can sense when people are hurting almost instantly. Men are more physical and active, so they are more able to relate using sports and other physical activities. Once again, these are stereotypes, but most will find this to be true. I certainly think this is true for me, and that is why my ministry is so relational and discipleship-centered instead of physical team-building and recreational-centered. I found that where I have voids, I am extremely lucky to have men volunteering to fill them. I also feel that as a leader I am more organized than most men, and I also feel like I build relationships with the parents easier than I see some guys. I am not saying that it is better to have a woman minister, by any means. I can get emotional, I let little things bother me at times, and I have a hard time relating to sports (which is big for most teenage boys).

I think that the differences between men and women prove to me that it takes a man and a woman to run youth ministry. I also think it can be harder for a woman to gain respect in ministry, especially (and ironically) from her peer youth ministers. It seems to be that the most flack I get for being a woman in ministry isn't from parents, my pastor, or youth; but from males who are in ministry. I hope to prove to my peers my passion for ministry and gain their respect.

Give Me Your Eyes

2011-01-02T01:53:00.005-06:00

Sometimes I hate that I'm so transparent with my readers, because a post like I'm about to write is one of those where I'm DYING to share with people, but at the same time am afraid that people will just laugh at me. I don't mind the laughs (I laugh at myself all the time), yet I hope that some conversation and contemplation will spark.

This last week, I have been overly emotional. I know this is due to a LOT of things, including spending time with my family last week, reading a book recreationally for the first time in a LONG time, just being a woman with hormones, and my cat dying last night.

Every time I see someone hurting, even when it's supposed to be "funny", I hurt inside. I turned on Maury the other day, which I haven't seen since middle school. It was showing the top 10 guests of 2010, and every single story broke my heart. Baby daddy drama, people cheating on each other, best friends stabbing each other in the back; I couldn't take it all! So I started bawling like a baby! Friends would talk to me about the hurts they were going through, and the tears just started jerking! I couldn't watch the ASPCA commercials with all the animals needing to be adopted, because it hurt me to see them hurting.

Now, I'm not having an emotional breakdown (yet). I think that it's due to my increasing sensitivity of pop culture and how it glamorizes sin and hurt. I don't find a lot of things funny anymore. I really don't enjoy movies that curse every few seconds. It hurts me when I see children cursing on television or Youtube, and parents think it's funny. I just find a lot of things unnatractive.

My challenge to you is to think about things that you have been desensitized to, and really just cry out to God to make those known to you. Pray that you can have a heart for the things God has a heart for. I hope that this week of increased emotions lasts and stays with me, even if that means that I do a whole lot more crying (FYI, I'm not much of a crier).

Here is one of my favorite songs, just for good measure ;)

Reflections of 2010

2010-12-31T11:50:00.002-06:00

January--I opened this blog. I had blogs before, but I vowed to be consistent with this one! My 20th birthday was in January, which I spent alone. I took a Pre-Marital counseling class during Jan-Term, got to strengthen my relationship with a few people, and also got to see the true character of a particular person. I ended a friendship with a manipulative person, who still finds ways to make me miserable. I got to spend a lot of time by myself, which is actually a good thing. I got a lot of time to think!

February--A pretty chill month. Don't think I learned any major lessons, didn't really do much. I don't get all weird-obsessed over Valentine's Day, so it was just a normal, apathetic month! There was a dance for all us "single" people at a friend's house, and I loved it!! My closest girls and I went to Olive Garden, which was also pretty hilarious.

March--This was probably the hardest month of the year. I had a fight with my mom and didn't talk to her throughout this month, my grandpa was in and out of the hospital and began to die, one of my roommates attempted suicide, I had to quit my job because of my boss, I began having terrible migraines, I was stood up during spring break by my best friend, I had a fight with my mentor, applied for RA which I thought I was going to get with all my heart and then didn't, my Facebook page for my business was deleted, and a woman moved in with my father. All in the same month! Actually, most of this was in the first two weeks! I had a lot of blows to the face, and throughout it all kind of just trusted that it would all pass. I also had the opportunity to do a DNow--something I didn't really want to do but in the end blessed me.

April--SoulForce came and changed my life. I don't feel like re-capping that whole experience, so you can click the link. I was dealing with the repercussions of everything that went on in March, so it was a month of dealing and learning.

May--My grandpa died, and the whole experience was tough. I finished the end of my sophomore year, and had a smoothie party to celebrate! I also had a huge fight with my home pastor, who was preaching heresy and I was convicted to approach him and talk with him about his lack of presenting scripture. He told me that if I wanted more scripture in my sermons, to find another church. So I vowed not to go back. Very hard decision, considering I had gone there for 13 years (and saw it go through a lot of things and stood by it).

June-August--I grouped these together because I did one thing: Intern. I interned at an amazing church where I got to really see a large community after God's heart. I worked with some amazing girls that were eager to have me in their life, as well as a few girls who decided before they ever met me to not like me, and spread their dislike to other girls. With girls, there's always drama, but there's always those moments of fun and of serious conversations that I will never trade for anything. I learned a lot about myself and got to understand a little more what ministry is about. God showed to me how faithful he is to me, even when I have nothing to bring to our relationship. I got to go to Tennessee and Kentucky, adding two more states to my very short list of states I've gone to. I also go to go to a Cardinals @ Royals game in KC! And alas, I started school again, armed with knowledge and NOT the desire to learn. I learned that I was beautiful too :)

September--After a summer of full-time minstry, I found it impossible to just get back into the normal school schedule. A group of friends and I were all very bummed, because we just spent the summer doing nothing by serving God, and now we had to go back to school. I was determined not to let myself just sit there, so I began applying at different churches and scored a position at the church I now serve at as Youth Minister! Crazy.

October--I started ministry here. It was a month of learning to adjust, getting my socks blessed off, but learning SO much. I began to become genuinely happy. Honestly. Nothing has ever fulfilled me so much than working with youth. :) I also didn't trick-or-treat for the first time in my life! Which is crazy because I LOVE Halloween. My costume was a Campbell soup can! :)

November--Bowling, Hand Turkeys, SO MUCH! There was just so much going on. A good friend of mine from high school died a very tragic death, and that was really difficult to see. I blogged a LOT that much, because I was consistently learning new lessons. I think that I was really vulnerable with my readers that month.

December--I was overwhelmed, but I had a great month! I had a lot of parties going on that I had to plan or attend. I got to plan a Christmas program for the youth, which turned out good! I went home and learned that it wasn't my home anymore. Christmas was the worst yet, but I'm okay about it. It's weird, really. I learned a lot of lessons this month, and I'm still learning. And at night on Dec. 31st, I found out the cat that I've had for 10 years passed away. This hit me hard; he was seriously my bestest friend and only friend for a long time! So I'm now dealing with that.

What does 2011 have in store for me?

Well, I turn 21! So that will be a challenge in itself. I will be planning a lot of things for my youth. I will be beginning a new job in the game room. I will be having my own room in a house with 4 other girls! I am going to eat healthier, now that I don't rely on a cafeteria. Do I have an resolutions? Not really. But I want to vow to let God use me in whatever way possible, and not to hinder it. (As I type that, I'm realizing that what that may entail, I may not like and that scares me). I really just want to grow. 2010 was a year of extreme growth for me, as I learned a lot of truths about who I am. I want next year to be even crazier, I want to learn even more. And if that means that I have to go through a lot of junk in the process, I am okay with that.

Joe's Story

2010-12-28T12:11:00.003-06:00

I generally like it when pastors put a spin on Christmas, and this year I found to love the theme. Joseph--the guy who was told that his "virgin" wife was pregnant, and kept getting bossed around by angels to go places. A guy who really had to trust in God and in God's plans.

I love that God always finds a way to shake me and speak to me, and this Christmas was no different. I was really struggling with a particular decision, and God made it clear to me what I have to do. I listened to two sermons on Joseph the two last Sundays (different churches), that got me thinking about Joseph. Here was this guy who was engaged to a woman who became pregnant, not by his doing. You can see that he already had a worthy character, as he planned on divorcing Mary privately as to not disgrace her and get her stoned. So right off the bat, we have a guy who is noble and Godly. Then, an angel appears to him and tells him to get married anyway! So does he argue it? No! He woke up and did what the angel said to do. Then, after the baby is born, an angel appears again to Joe and says, "Herod's trying to kill all the babies! Leave and go to Egypt!" So what does Joe do? He got up! Then later on, an Angel appears AGAIN and tells him to return to Israel. And Joseph goes. He doesn't argue, he doesn't fuss at the angel or try to negotiate with it, he just goes.

Joseph is a man who does what God tells him to do without arguing. He just "gets up" and does it! I started reading "Radical" by David Platt, and I feel extremely convicted that when Christ called his disciples, he called them to do radical things, like leave whatever they were doing and follow Him (there will be a much more extended post as soon as I finish this book, trust me). I don't think we do that. We rationalize, try to bargain with God to let us finish what we are doing, and THEN follow him (and not even the right way!). But even when Christ was born, his earthly father had to leave everything he was doing in order to follow God and let the Messiah be born. Crazy Amazing. I think that the story of Joesph also shows us that God knew what he was doing when giving Jesus Christ an amazing earthly father! I think there is a lot that we can take from Joseph and apply to our lives--trusting in God's plan and following him at whatever cost it takes.

It's funny because after I heard the first sermon on Joesph, I kind of brushed it off. Then I started reading "Radical" and was convicted of a certain thing that I have to drop in order to follow Christ. I didn't drop it. Then I heard the second sermon on Joseph at a completely different church! I am now convinced! At least I just heard a sermon and wasn't swallowed by a whale in order to get a hold of :)

Also, another random side note...I heard this week something amazing: Jesus died on the cross at 33-that is 33 years that he had to wait to die, knowing that he would have to do it. 33 years! It makes things that I am waiting for seem much less dramatic.

The Purpose

2010-12-15T14:01:00.002-06:00

I just wanted to reiterate the purpose of this blog. The other day at lunch one of my friends asked what a blog was. Well, it's anything you want it to be. Some people use it to help get business for a company, so use it to rant about people they don't like, some use it to connect to others about sports or cooking, etc.

So why do *I* blog? I blog lessons that I am learning. I blog because I want people to know what's going on in my life. I blog because I have to sort out all the things that I am learning, and share them with people. I blog because I like to talk. I blog because I like to teach. I blog because I feel like God wants me to share particular things with people. I blog to get things off my chest. I blog because I am vulnerable. I blog because I want people to share in my imperfections. I blog because I love to.

I've been contemplating one thing in particular that has taken over my thoughts the last month...Since I am a legit youth minister now (still weird to say), I have been thinking about the example I want my youth to follow. When I listen to music, or watch a television show, or speak, I think to myself, "Is this the way I want my youth to behave?" If not, then I reform it. It's quite interesting to me, and I'm realizing that I still don't have all my cookies in the jar (I think I just made that analogy up). I've been thinking about the people I hang out with, and all sorts of stuff. I think I'm going to start a fast from secular music soon, just to see the way it impacts me (not because I think it's sinful...and this is kind of an aside).

I don't think that I am a terrible person by the world's standards, and I think that God would even say that I'm a young woman after His heart. However, there is still sin in my life, and although there always will be, I don't want to cause anybody else to stumble...ESPECIALLY my youth. They are the most important people in my life, and my God-given purpose is to train them up in righteousness. So there are things in my life that I'm going to have to get rid of in order to train them up. This is going to be hard for me because I'm realizing that I'm still very much impacted by the "secular world."

Besides my youth, I know a LOT of people who don't know Christ... a LOT. And I know a lot of people who have been trapped by legalism, telling them that they have to do certain things in order to be a Christian, and live the most perfect life or they're not "Christlike". If you believe this, please go read Romans. We are freed from the grips of sin and the grips of legalism. However, if we want to lead people to Christ, we should probably try our hardest to live like Him, or our testimony could wither and our ministry hindered. So even things that I don't see as a "big deal", I want to try to correct in my life, because someone else probably does see them as a big deal. And if I want to reach them, maybe I should get rid of this.

I ask that anybody who is reading this pray for me. I really want to impact the next generation, that is my specific calling. So I'm going to really have to reform some things in my life.

This whole thing makes me think of 2 passages:

"Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check." James 3:1

"But not everyone possesses this knowledge. Some people are still so accustomed to idols that when they eat sacrificial food they think of it as having been sacrificed to a god, and since their conscience is weak, it is defiled. But food does not bring us near to God; we are no worse if we do not eat, and no better if we do.

Be careful, however, that the exercise of your rights does not become a stumbling block to the weak. 1For if someone with a weak conscience sees you, with all your knowledge, eating in an idol’s temple, won’t that person be emboldened to eat what is sacrificed to idols? So this weak brother or sister, for whom Christ died, is destroyed by your knowledge. When you sin against them in this way and wound their weak conscience, you sin against Christ. Therefore, if what I eat causes my brother or sister to fall into sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause them to fall." 1 Corinthians 8:7-13

Sorry for the randomness, guys. This is my heart today.

Facebook Speaks Up!

2010-12-13T18:42:00.002-06:00

Today in my last class of the semester, a guest lecturer came and talked to us about our resumes and job interviews, and things of that sort. She started a little bit about the impact our Facebook page has in that kind of thing. So I started thinking, what does my Facebook page say about me? What does your page say about you? What kinds of things do you want it to say about you?

Here are a few pointers she gave (and that I am adding through my "expertise") to help clean up your Facebook page and clear your name!

If you are tagged in a photo that is provocative or sexual, untag it. Better yet, if you are tagged in a photo, people can typically view the rest of the pictures in that album too. If there is anything in the entire album that can be misconstrued, untag yourself from the album itself. Or go to your settings and block people you are concerned about seeing it from seeing photos you are tagged it.
Remove friends that could ruin your image. If there is someone who posts on your wall and curses, talks about some party you went to, etc., then you have a few options: (1) Tell them to not post in that tone or talk about that bad thing you did on your wall. (2) Delete them as a friend. (3) Go to your settings and make it so that they can't post on your wall period. (4) Go to your settings and make it so that the people you are concerned about reading it can't read posts by other friends on your wall. This setting doesn't prevent them from seeing their comments on your statuses. (5) Block posts from friends on your wall. (6) Block your wall completely so that you basically don't even have one. I just deleted 300 friends recently, and many were for this reason. I got in trouble once with a parent of a church because someone posted a joke about Viagra on my page. I thought the joke was hilarious, but it hurt my rapport with the parent and that summer interning was miserable afterwards.
Remove pages you are a "fan" of that could hurt too. If that means music that could hurt your reputation, that might mean you have to delete it. Use discretion. This goes for groups too. If I click on a group and there's a bunch of cursing on it, I might think poorly of you.
What are your quotes listed? Are any of them suggestive? They might be funny to you, but it won't be funny when you get in trouble for them.
If you are really that worried about your page, make it so that no one can view anything on your page--pictures, posts, interests, etc. Then your page serves as a place where people can message you, like email, and where you can stalk other people.

Facebook seriously tells a lot about you. People are watching, trust me ;) Don't think for a minute that by blocking everything, that an employer, professor, or someone else can't still see anything. There are ways to get information off your page. Also, go ahead and Google your name and see what you come up with.

Great is Thy Faithfulness

2010-12-08T23:35:00.003-06:00

I had a rough day, so I need to remind myself of all of the things that God has specifically done for me as an individual to exhibit his Great Faithfulness.

God showed his grace to my sister, and she is now a passionate follower...and sometimes gives me great wisdom :)

When I prayed for an internship, he gave me one that rocked my world, changed my life, and affirmed my passion in ministry.

When I prayed for Christian fellowship while home in STL, it was granted in ways I never expected. I found new friendships and strengthened old ones.

I asked for more Christian brothers. And I now have a plethora, and that list grows seriously daily.

I begged God to send me Christian women. Through my internship, I met some wonderful women who constantly bless my life.

God sent a few people recently who revealed that I had blessed their Christian walks when I was young. Like, real young. One remembered my name from meeting me when I was 12 and contacted me. Another was a Sunday School teacher. God showed me how I have developed since. Amazing :)

God granted my prayer and has sent me some truth-tellers who tell me like it is. I can now reform.

God always provided when my parents couldn't.

After my internship, I asked, "Now what?" And God showed me what I desired most, and then gave it to me. I am a youth minister now. Still weird to say out loud.

When I was mad at God for not letting me be an RA this year, he showed me that's not what I really wanted. I desired true discipleship, and there were much greater ways for me to do that. Then he gave me this amazing discipleship group that I get to hang out with. And they like listening to me talk. whoa, God is crazy good :)

God gave me the most amazing rainbow of my life in the middle of a time where I was distressed.

For years and years and years I begged God to help me get rid of my depression. I read a chapter of a book (and i don't EVER read, unfortunately) and almost overnight I was better.

Every time I've ever prayed for a job, I've gotten one.

I've prayed away heartaches, headaches, hunger, and lack of heat. God always provides.

I get comments on my blogs sometimes. Always a prayer answered, that maybe something I have said resonates with someone besides myself :)

Confrontation

2010-12-05T21:35:00.004-06:00

Confrontation. A dreaded word for most. It's uncomfortable, it's awkward, and most think it's unneeded. Our culture makes it seem that if someone approaches you and expresses discontent with you, that makes them a "b-word" or rude. People get easily offended, and often lash out on the person who is "offending" them. So what do people do instead of confront problems with another? They talk about the person behind their back. They bottle up all of their anger. They physically harm the person, or get revenge in a social way. Ellie Wiesel, a famous Holocaust survivor, once said, "Violence is a language. When language fails, violence becomes the language." This means that when people can't find the words to express emotions, they turn to something else. So instead of confronting each other, we harm each other, whether it is emotionally, physically, or socially.

Is this healthy? No! Psychologists are constantly saying that we need to confront our issues and talk them out. In family/marital/premarital counseling, the hardest part is getting the people fighting to communicate their emotions and discontent in things that the other person is doing. People just don't understand how to communicate anymore, and maybe that's becuase of technologies like texting and social networking that make communication "easier" and less confrontational. One of my favorite quotes is, "The more means of communication we have, the less we communicate (what we mean)." It's so much easier to confront someone on Facebook than to go to them in real life and express an issue in words.

What does the Bible say?

Before you come to God, make sure you are right with others.
· Leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. Matthew 5:24

Do not sin out of anger...pray about it.

· Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger...Ephesians 4:26

Ask, what have I done in this situation? Have I sinned? What is the problem here?
· What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this,that your passions are at war within you? James 4:1-6
· You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye. Matthew 7:5

Confront in a calm and respectful tone...don't get too emotional!
· A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1
· “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. Matthew 18:15
· Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love. Ephesians 4:15-16 ESV

Forgive! You have been forgiven for much worse.
· Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Colossians 3:13
· Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. James 5:16
· Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:31-32

If they don't react well, then move on. Treat them like a brother.
· "if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Romans 12:20

· “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God. Matthew 5:9

If it's serious, get others involved.·
But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Matthew 18:16-17

I used to react terribly towards problems and confrontation. I grew up in an environment where if you had beef with someone, you fought them. But that is not correct. Some people gossip about the person behind their back. Again, not right. The Biblical method is talking with a person about your discontent and maturely resolving the issue together. This is hard, I know! Many people are not raised to do this! I encourage everyone reading this to grow and learn how to approach problems in a healthy, Biblical way. And remember, if someone is confronting you with an issue, they don't hate you! They desire to mend the relationship with you. And if you desire to mend the relationship with your brothers and sisters, you had better learn how to maturely and effectively confront.

My Identity: Affirmation

2010-11-27T21:27:00.003-06:00

(PS, 50TH BLOG POST! :D)

If you knew who I was before this summer and compared it to me now, you would recognize that I am a completely different person. Really, I have been constantly reforming my life and personality since my senior year of high school. The difference this time is, I am truly happy and I credit that to the discovery of who I am.

Freshman year of college, I took a class called Spiritual Formations, and in that class we talked a lot about identity. This is something that I have been constantly hearing and contemplating on—what am I putting my identity in? I generally figured that I hadn’t been putting it in Christ. Well, I have finally realized what I put my identity in.

I put my identity in affirmation from others. I always have. Affirmation, for me, comes in forms of attention, gifts, time, and more. I find that whatever we put our identity in, we become irrational about the subject. So if a few people couldn’t come to my birthday party because they had the flu, I would decide that they hated me and that I was a piece of crap. If someone wouldn’t text me back, it’s because they didn’t feel I was important enough to contact. If someone who called me their close friend didn’t invite me to every single thing they did, it was because they didn’t want to hang out with me. For some reading this, this might sound irrational and crazy. To others of you, this is your reality.

I’ve never felt “loved”, not by the world’s standards of love at least. I was never the most popular or the first pick for anything. I never felt the kind of love I felt I should get (or honestly deserved to get) from my parents, my friends, or anyone. So I would whore myself out to get love. I would put myself at the center of attention to feel affirmed. Whether it was putting myself into inappropriate positions with boys, fighting hard to become the leader of an organization, or having a temper tantrum to get my parents to notice me, I tried to grant myself love and affirmation.

The thing is, I didn’t have to fight. I knew where to find love all along. That’s what drew me to church when I was five. I realized that just recently. The one place where I feel loved and affirmed is in my Lord’s arms. The reason why I’ve been so genuinely happy lately is because my identity and purpose are both finally being fulfilled in my work through the church (that’ll probably be another blogpost, haha). I finally feel like I mean something to the world, because the Lord is constantly affirming my calling and using people to affirm it too.

Affirmation is a wonderful thing, and I find that I am getting affirmed constantly and more so than when I was seeking it myself. However, this kind of affirmation is different. It’s a genuine kind of affirmation that I don’t have to ask for. When people affirm my beauty, it’s not because I had to dress a certain way to gain it. When people affirm my work, it’s because I’m working for the Lord and not for myself. My identity is in the Lord, and any affirmation I gain is because of that identity. So it really proves to me that my identity is finally in the right place. I don’t need to whore myself to the world for affirmation. I sold my life so that I might truly gain it.

Faith ♥

2010-11-23T12:56:00.004-06:00

Now for one of my absolute faaaaaaaavorite topics, faith.

((Lately in church, the pastor has been preaching out of James on the passage about Faith and Works. This happens to be one of my most absolute favorite verses. My friend Brandi also talked about this idea a bit in chapel last week, and I had a fabulous conversation with her before she spoke and amazing conversations with people following her “sermon.” This summer, I faced the difficulty in teaching the idea of faith and works, because it’s a hard thing to teach without sounding legalistic. So I feel like it’s about time for me to write about it!))

So I’ll begin :)

Faith without works is dead. What does that mean? It means that you cannot have a true, saving faith without repercussions afterwards. Salvation is more than just praying a prayer; it has to have after-effects. Think about a marriage—they make a promise, sign a piece of paper, and go on with their life living the same way, right? NO! Every day when they wake up, they renew their commitment and strive to please their spouse. A relationship with Christ is the same way. You make a commitment to a relationship with Him, and this love for Him should radically change your life daily. I believe very deeply that it is impossible to get into heaven without a transformation in your life, even if you “pray the prayer” and “ask Jesus into your life.”

Am I being harsh? Some might think so. Let’s examine the word “faith”, though! The word faith in Greek is pistis. The word in itself means “an active, working faith.” It is used hundreds of time in the Bible, and if you took a look to examine each of these times, usually you will see that in the context of the passage around it there are actions supplementing the faith. I think that some people mistake “faith” and “believing.” James says, “Even the demons believe, and they shudder.” Does believing in God get you to heaven? No. Faith does. What’s the difference between faith and believing? The action put into faith. Faith then, by its definition here, “is an active belief.” If you take away the actions or works from faith, all you get is “belief”, and belief gets you nowhere in eternity. When looking at the two words behind “faith” and believe” in Greek, the difference is the conviction behind “faith”, and the actions put into it and not into “believe”. Faith without works is dead, not only in the fact that it is no longer death, but it doesn’t bring you Eternal Life.

In our modern Christian attempt to draw more people to Christ and show that Christianity is not about legalism, I think that we have produced an apathetic Christianity. Christians are too comfortable in their lives and aren’t doing anything about their beliefs. (Listen to Lecrae’s “Send Me!”) I think this is incredibly sad! When Jesus called his disciples, what did He say? GET UP and FOLLOW ME. He didn’t say, “Just, um, believe that I exist and we’re good!” They believed in Him, but by their actions they gained true faith.

Let me be clear here, you do not obtain salvation through actions. You obtain salvation through faith. Faith is an active, working belief, meaning you believe in it and thus are driven to do something about it. Example: I believe that my bed does not have snakes in it. To have faith in it would mean that I would actually get in the bed. We believe in God, but to have faith in Him would be to follow his commands and to live out his promises.

So how do we have an active, working belief—Faith? First of all, following His commands. We are commanded to Love God with everything we got, and to love our neighbors as ourselves. This is the summary, to me, of living out faith. James talks about how true religion is helping out the orphans and widows, and if we see anybody in need to help them in a physical and tangible way. I think tithing is a good way to act out your faith in God and His church; it shows that you trust in the church the same way I trust in my snakeless bed. Evangelizing, spreading the Gospel, is an amazing way of spreading your faith by living out God’s commands of making disciples. Discipling a younger believer, getting involved in choir, attending a camp or retreat; these are all good ways of acting out faith. Making war with sin and trying to overcome temptation is necessary. The great thing about living out faith is that there is not “cookie-cutter” way of doing it, which eliminates legalism. Each person has their own special gift; make sure to use it when you live out your faith.

The bottom line is, if you believe in Jesus Christ and call Him your Lord and Savior, that HAS to have an effect on your life…it has HAD to have moved you!

I hope I have done this topic justice. Please read James 2, Hebrews 11, and Romans. And then go do something about what you believe in.

Glad I didn't miss chapel...

2010-11-10T11:40:00.002-06:00

Today God really reminded me of how much he loves me. His love for me is extravagant and just more that I can ever imagine. His love is more intimate than any other friend's love for me. I don't even choose to be loved by Him, He loves me no matter what. His love is amazing, and stronger than any other love I have ever known. It's overwhelming and enticing. It's irresistible. It's grace-filled. It's mighty. It covers all of my sin and is greater than all the "good" things I have done put altogether. It's not contingent on what others think of me. It is not dependent on any other factor than God's mercy. It's just...God. God IS love.

Dear Sam...

2010-11-09T23:54:00.003-06:00

Dear Sam,
This completely and utterly stinks. I miss you so much. I'm so ticked that your life was taken because of a drunk driver. I'm sad that you were so young. It sucks that it was the same week as the anniversary of Sam Lipka. I just don't even know what to say.

I remember when we first met in middle school. We rode the bus together every day. We were typical middle-schoolers. One day we hated each other, but the next day we had each other's backs. I remember that you were one of the ones that brought a lot of new styles to Ferg Middle with you. You were pretty much like Avril Lavigne, and we called you that. We didn't always get along, but we didn't have to. We bonded every day and I can't ever remember a time where I hated you.
High school, we didn't see each other as much, but our relationship definitely grew. We are so different, but that never seemed a problem. Remember Drama class? Our production of the Wizard of Oz? I remember you telling me I only got the part of Dorothy because I didn't do any other plays. I also remember the countless laughs that we shared in that class. That class was boss!
We always seemed to have a class together. In Brit Lit, I hated all the books. But you loved them. You loved English class and you were always reading something.
I will never forget your big purses, your distinct giggles, you making fun of my pledge to purity. I remember "Bringing Dillon Back" and our Senior shirts. What would you do for a jolly rancher? haha we thought we were so clever. I remember laughing about your height, complaining about our huge breasts, and just the weird sexual jokes. The notes we passed were hilarious, and filled with pictures of "turds" I cannot remember how that started, but it started pretty early in our relationship. Even after high school, we joked about it over facebook, which was really our only interaction. I thought it was crazy when your brother married one of my best friends growing up. I laughed as we joked about me marrying you and your boo at the time.
I think one of my favorite things about you was that you were you. You didn't apologize for that. You knew exactly who you thought you were.
I am going to miss you. I think a lot of people are. You had your friends, your enemies, your frienemies. I'm learning how fragile life is. I'm also learning how important the relationships I had in high school really are to me. I might act like high school meant nothing to me, but they did. I miss high school sometimes, because we were so naiive and honestly, that was the simplist life would ever get.
Bleh.
Sam, I love you, and I'm learning through this.
Love, Heather :)

This is Weird.

2010-11-04T12:29:00.005-05:00

So this is weird. I'm thinking about how we are all going to grow up one day. I feel like just yesterday I was in high school, not understanding who I am and struggling to fit in. And here I am, in college, with a slightly better understanding of who I am and people who are constantly affirming that. It's crazy. And tomorrow, I'm going to be an adult. Well not really tomorrow, but when I get to that point, I am going to wonder where the time went. I wonder what it's going to be like when we are 80 years old. Weird. So. Stinking. Weird.

As I looked online for curriculum, and pa-rouse youth ministry sites, I realized something. One day, my colleagues are going to be the people writing this curriculum and making these sites. My friends are going to be the ones speaking at huge conferences and camps like Centrifuge and Crossings. I may even know the next Lecrae (and hopefully marry him!) They are going to be writing books that I turn to when I want to pull my hair out, and making the curriculum that I will use with my youth group. What is weirder, I might be one of them! Whoaaa! Thinking about this has made the reality that "One Day, I'm Going to Be an Adult" almost more real. Should I start writing my book? Should I start getting the curriculum I just wrote for our WarZone published? hahahaha. Oh my. Tis Strange.

On another still-weird-but-less-frazzled note, while I'm thinking of youth ministry majors, I'm quite disappointed with some of ours right now. I'm beginning to realize more and more that people go into ministry to correct their own lives. It is so incredibly sad! This mentality is very common in my peers, that "I had a messed up youth. So I'm going to go to college, major in youth ministry, and I will become reformed and help those in their youth to make up for my sin in mine." And honestly, I'm sure that I felt that at one time or another, that the program would help reform me. Why shouldn't it reform me? But there needs to be a legitimate, specific calling to the ministry. I don't want to see more teenagers suffer because their youth minister committed a major sin and had to leave the church. And that goes for me too.

I'm incredibly scatter-brained today. God answered a huge prayer last night, but I still am not happy. I don't really understand it. But I need to learn to rest in His grace and armor myself with His Strength. I can't fight whatever funk I'm feeling alone! oh no no nooooo...

Murmur Murmur Murmur, Why Am I This Way? MAKE. WAR!

2010-11-02T09:20:00.005-05:00

Do you glorify your sin? Are you tripping STILL off of who you once was? Are you putting up barriers because you can't get past it?

I was. I am. And I am sure that you are too.

This was revealed to me this summer. As many know, I was an intern this summer at an amazing church in Illinois. I learned so much about ministry and about myself. One of my breaking moments was when it was revealed to me that I am so caught up in who I was, that I can't be who I am now or continue onto who I need to be in Christ.

I see this happen a lot in myself and my friends. I have friends who STILL think that they have a sin that no one else can relate to. There are girls who weren't exactly pure in high school, and now think that they don't deserve a good Godly man who, in their eyes, got all their cookies together. There are people who were in gangs and now feel like no one can relate to them, so they fade into the background so that no one will notice them. There are many who feel like their family life is so messy, they refuse to talk about family with people. But the truth is, we have ALL had sin and we have ALL had trials. We put up barriers so people can't get in. Even I have been guitly of this, I who thought my life was an open book! I never would have thought that I did this! I BLOG MY LIFE for goodness sakes!

If we aren't putting barriers up because of our sin, we are glorifying it. Oh yes. A friend of mine told me that in his first conversation with a boy he was to mentor, the boy told my friend of all the things he had done: sex, weed, alcohol, gangs, etc. He said it without my friend even asking, and afterwards seemed pleased with himself. My friend just looked at him and asked, "Are you proud of that? Are you happy you did all that? Because you sure act like it!" Sometimes, we think that our testimony is so legit and amazing, that we almost take pride in the sin that he had committed. I am guilty, again. I know many Christians that sit around and talk about what their favorite alcoholic drink was "back in the day" (ha, two years ago?!) and laugh about the times they got flat our drunk and did some stupid thing. Why is this funny? And how can you laugh about it one minute, then try to minister with it the next?

Oh man, this reminds me of a story. A few years ago on a mission trip, I was talking with the girls I was mentoring about their testimonies. I was trying to help them work through them so they could use them to minister to those on the mission trip. One girl told me of how she cheated on her boyfriend, had sex with his friend, and contracted chlamydia. Just like that. I said, "And...?" She replied, "That's it." I asked, "And how are you going to use this as a testimony?" She shrugged. She didn't know. I asked her, "Where was God in all this?" She said, "He helped me through it." Although true, I was looking for more: "Did you learn anything?" "Yeah, he'll help me when I need him." That was not what I'm looking for. How about learning that sin has consequences? Or knowing that God was faithful to you even when you sinned, so you should revamp your life and repent so that you aren't committing that same sin! I suggested these things, and it discouraged her. She wasn't ready for a change, just corporate confession to make her feel better.

Okay, scripture time. This was one of the verses this summer that really spoke and got me to really think about what I was doing to myself. Philippians 2: 1-14:

¹ Further, my brothers and sisters, rejoice in the Lord! It is no trouble for me to write the same things to you again, and it is a safeguard for you. ² Watch out for those dogs, those evildoers, those mutilators of the flesh. ³ For it is we who are the circumcision, we who serve God by his Spirit, who boast in Christ Jesus, and who put no confidence in the flesh— ⁴ though I myself have reasons for such confidence.
If someone else thinks they have reasons to put confidence in the flesh, I have more: ⁵ circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; in regard to the law, a Pharisee; ⁶ as for zeal, persecuting the church; as for righteousness based on the law, faultless.
⁷ But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. ⁸ What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ ⁹ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. ¹⁰ I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, ¹¹and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.
¹² Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. ¹³ Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, ¹⁴ I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Paul really was a terrible sinner. He had plenty to boast about, too! He was pretty much the best Jew, a "righteous" Pharisee, etc. He made it in the world. He even persecuted Christians. But he counted it all as loss. It wasn't this mighty thing that he could now tell everyone he met. It was something that he could use to minister when needed. Our testimony isn't what compels people to Christ. It's the grace that does, as revealed through Scripture and through our testimonies. My testimony is powerful, I need to understand that. However, I need to focus not on all the bad things I did, but how powerful His grace was to me, that even while I was still a dirty rotten sinner, He died for me and I no longer need to even think about who I was. It is all behind me, and the Cross and my eternal life is ahead of me.

I know this is a long post, but here is something you should watch! It's a song called "Make War" by Tedashii. It talks about how as Christians, we talk about our sin and glorify it SO much! But instead of glorifying it, we need to be making war with it!

I LOVE HALLOWEEN!!!

2010-10-31T16:41:00.004-05:00

Halloween is my favorite holiday. I get a lot of smack for this, but I frankly don't care! Halloween is just my favorite :)

Halloween is exactly what we say it is. There aren't any reasons to celebrate, it's just for fun. Christmas is supposed to be about the birth of our Savior, yet we drop Him to the background and sing songs about Santa, decorate our house with Santa, and celebrate gifts from...Santa. I can't remember a Thanksgiving where through the craziness of making a huge dinner and getting a handful of guests to come over, my family could be truly thankful and celebrate the small blessings. Easter was always about eggs and bunnies, two things which never made sense to me. Fourth of July? No, it's called "Independence Day", but we celebrate hamburgers and fireworks, not our blessed freedom and liberty as Americans.

Ironically, Halloween has less masks than the rest of the holidays. Maybe as I grow older and have a family of my own, my favorite holiday will change! In fact, I do anticipate it changing, as I hope to make my family's Christmas about Christ, Independence Day about our Independence, and Thanksgiving about Thankfulness. And I DO try to make it like that for me as an individual. Yet for now, Halloween is my favorite!

Tonight, I'm dressing up and teaching my youth group, then I'm off to the Masquerade Ball here at school! I'm very excited that Halloween and the Sabbath are on the same day! Yay!

Speaking of Holidays and preserving their true meanings, on Facebook there is a group called 30 Days of Thankfulness. Every day, you're supposed to post as your status a reason you are thankful. I'm participating for sure! God has blessed me a lot, and I have tons of reasons to be thankful. So I hope in the spirit of Thanksgiving, you will do the same!

Ps, I do not believe in Vampires :)

New blog layout!

2010-10-27T21:32:00.001-05:00

I liked the old layout, but I wanted it to be more personal. Since I'm sharing my life with you guys, I want to REALLY share it! Hopefully this is more "me". I love the feedback I get on my blog, even if people don't directly post it to the blog itself! SOOO please keep it coming! I love the affirmation!

PS, I am listening to Camp Rock 2's soundtrack. this has made my day happy.

Heather Potter

2010-10-24T16:28:00.005-05:00

I am like Harry Potter.

Stick with me here.

Harry Potter grew up in an environment where he knew he was different, not just physically. He was teased, made fun of, and his own family was terrible to him. One day somebody tells him that he is actually somebody completely different from what he was being told all along. And so he goes into this new world, trying not to be affected by his past, but also struggling to adjust to the new world. He knows that he belongs to this new world, and it really does make sense! Things are clicking together for him, and life seems to kind of fall into place. He is learning what it means to be this new identity, a wizard, while learning to use his gifts that he was literally born with.

I think you know where I am going here :)

I grew up in this world where I was told that I was worthless, different, and useless. One day I heard the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and I realized that I am not of the world that I was living in. So I pursue Christ, and mold into the world/worldview of Christianity. I struggle because I don't understand everything and I am learning everything through experience. But I realize that it makes sense. Everything that I went through in life is consistent with the new identity that I have discovered. And I also realize that I have gifts that make everything fall into place.

No matter what you think of Harry Potter, I'm sure that you can now identify with him :)

Boys Ruin Everything

2010-10-18T17:05:00.005-05:00

Most of the time, I post about what God is doing in my life. But I need a moment to rant. To be fair, I am a woman and have fluctuating hormones. As this is the week that my hormones are particularity high, I just need to get it all out.

Why do boys ruin things? Seriously. How come you can't just be friends with a boy? It just has become ridiculous. The Lord has been teaching me how to control my male relationships, because in the past I struggled with not protecting my heart. But I have it down now, or at least down enough to know when I am and am not protecting myself (in reality, I might just be too good at protecting myself). But back to my rant. It seems like boys do not understand how to be just friends with a girl. If a girl gets close, it must mean she just wants to be your boo.

NO! It is perfectly healthy to have friends of the opposite sex! Boys! Quit being awkward and let a girl be your friend! She needs strong men in her life! Yes, men! So quit being boys and grow into men and give ladies of all ages a strong man to rely on and befriend!

Here's the other way that I have been disappointed by males lately:

We are in a Mancession. Read about it in NewsWeek, Time, etc. Men aren't employed as much as women. More accurately, men aren't stepping up to the plate. There was an article about it in our school's paper, and it got me more furious than I already was, to tell you the truth. I know of countless ministries that need men to head them, or even men to volunteer their time to them, but there are hardly any stepping up to the plate. I'm so tired of hearing every year at missions chapel "we need you men!" and not seeing very many sign up. It's getting ridiculous. I cannot find one guy, just ONE GUY to help me with my ministry. It's ridiculous!!! Seriously! You would think that Christian men would step up to the plate, but they are just as pansy as the nons.

I know I'm going to get a lot of crap for this post. And quite frankly, I don't care. In the past, I had a comment by someone who said that I am a man-hater. Quite the opposite. I am a man-lover. I just can't seem to find many men in our age. I don't see many guys who are like Jesus Christ. And that's honestly how I see it.

Hate the Sin, Love the Sinner

2010-10-14T23:11:00.004-05:00

Christians use this phrase all the time. Non-Christians hate it. Why? Because for some people, a Christian's definition of sin is not their definition of sin. And that "sin" defines that person.

Not following? I'll give you an example. Some of you may know that this last spring, a group called Soulforce came to my school (and it changed my life, read about the experience here). They are a group of LGBTQs and allies. For a queer person, to say that you hate their sin offends them, because you are saying that the very essence of them, the very thing that they feel defines them best, is hated by you. So to them, you are saying, "I love you, but I hate the very thing that defines you." If you were to tell me, "I love you, but I hate that you are a Christian and I find Christ repulsing" I wouldn't be able to be your friend. Why? Because I feel like you not only hate my Christ, but you hate the very thing that defines me, which in turn means you hate ME.

I think the phrase can be useful, just not with non-Christians. After talking with Soulforce, I realized that using this phrase with people who don't have a relationship with Christ can do more harm than good.

But is the phrase useless? NO! Yet I think we need to remember what this phrase means. I think it's a good summary of Ephesians 6:12.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.

Our fight isn't against flesh and blood. It isn't against sinners, pagans, non-Christians, etc. It is against the sin itself--the ROOT of the sin. That root is Satan and the "spiritual forces of wickedness", the "darkness" that is in our world. That's why we need to make war against those darknesses. We don't make war by picketing, slandering sinners, and by telling people we hate what they are doing. We make war through prayer, through spreading the Gospel, and through love.

It can be a good reminder to yourself to hate the sin, meaning the darknesses behind it. But never tell a sinner you hate their sin, because that can keep them away from the light.

Whose Am I?

2010-09-19T00:44:00.007-05:00

This is kind of a cute story, but as Cheralynn has been telling me, never discredit the Lord's work in your life.

Last week, I ran out of yellow highlighter. This was a TRAGEDY for me, hah! I didn't want to highlight in my book in any other color, especially since I had already started in yellow. When it happened, I was by my friend Eric. I joked with him, "The first guy to buy me a yellow highlighter gets to be my husband. So if anyone wants me, tell them to get me a yellow highlighter!" He laughed and texted someone this, as a joke of course.

A few days later, I look in my pencil box (technically a crayon box, but it holds pencils and such) for my stupid orange highlighter. What do I find? A yellow highlighter! Now, no one can get in my box, because it's always in my book bag near me. So how did it get there? Automatically, I felt like it was a God-thing.

Now, I'm not saying that God physically put that there. I could have overlooked that highlighter, not known I put it in there (my mom gave me a load of office supplies this summer!). But it was fresh, clean, never-used, and I think that it was God reminding me whose I am. He romanced me by bringing me this silly, insignificant highlighter so that he could prove to me that I'm His and unclaimed by others.

Later that night, I opened my Bible and felt like there was something specific that God wanted to show me. I flipped and flipped, fighting my huge fan that blows like 70 miles per hour wind. Finally, it blew me to Psalm 45:

1My heart overflows with a good theme;
I address my verses to the King;
My tongue is the pen of a ready writer.
2You are fairer than the sons of men;
Grace is poured upon Your lips;
Therefore God has blessed You forever.
3Gird Your sword on Your thigh, O Mighty One,
In Your splendor and Your majesty!
4And in Your majesty ride on victoriously,
For the cause of truth and meekness and righteousness;
Let Your right hand teach You awesome things.
5Your arrows are sharp;
The peoples fall under You;
Your arrows are in the heart of the King's enemies.
6Your throne, O God, is forever and ever;
A scepter of uprightness is the scepter of Your kingdom.
7You have loved righteousness and hated wickedness;
Therefore God, Your God, has anointed You
With the oil of joy above Your fellows.
8All Your garments are fragrant with myrrh and aloes and cassia;
Out of ivory palaces stringed instruments have made You glad.
9Kings' daughters are among Your noble ladies;
At Your right hand stands the queen in gold from Ophir.
10Listen, O daughter, give attention and incline your ear:
Forget your people and your father's house;
11Then the King will desire your beauty.
Because He is your Lord, bow down to Him.
12The daughter of Tyre will come with a gift;
The rich among the people will seek your favor.
13The King's daughter is all glorious within;
Her clothing is interwoven with gold.
14She will be led to the King in embroidered work;
The virgins, her companions who follow her,
Will be brought to You.
15They will be led forth with gladness and rejoicing;
They will enter into the King's palace.
16In place of your fathers will be your sons;
You shall make them princes in all the earth.
17I will cause Your name to be remembered in all generations;
Therefore the peoples will give You thanks forever and ever.

As I began reading, I was just amazed. I thought to myself, this is the kind of man that I want--gracious, victorious, righteous. After saying that, I realized that it was talking about The King, God. This reminded me, in a time where I really needed it, that no guy could even have my heart unless they were like The King. And man, did I fall in love with God over again! And then towards the end, it talked about how The King desires His daughters' beauty, that she was all glorious within. This really just warmed my heart and confirmed my highlighter. No man could have my heart unless The King had it first; no man would be able to give me anything that The King didn't give me first, even if it is a highlighter.

The Lord romances us in interesting ways. Never discredit those ways.

From Depression to Repression to the Lord

2010-09-15T13:16:00.005-05:00

This post is going to reveal my heart in a way that I haven't really shared with many.

I have been struggling big-time with sharing my emotions. I thought that I was an open person, but it was pointed out to me this summer that I put up a wall. I could share testimonies about my life, give the facts and tell you everything about the story, but I couldn't tell you how I was feeling about something. When this was brought to my attention, I automatically had a flood of emotions--part of me denied it, I was very open about my life! But I realized it was more than that; I was trying to put up a front and "be strong", like the things I've gone through and struggled with couldn't still draw emotions from me (especially "negative" emotions).

I thought I was being strong. But in hiding my emotions, I was just as weak as ever.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

How amazing is that?

In high school, I was the opposite. I was pretty doggone depressed. I had lost a lot of friends to it. I remember when I came to college, I was depressed and not completely relying on the Lord to be my strength and refuge. There was even a girl here at SBU who sat down with me one day and told me that she couldn’t be my friend, because I was too depressed (obviously I didn’t want her as a friend anyway! In reality, she had to learn about hardship and grow in that; I couldn’t help that she was sheltered and never hurt before!)

After that, I knew I had to be stronger, and I thought that if I was stronger for other people, it would perfect being stronger for myself. Not necessarily true. I put helping others before myself more than ever, became engrossed in ministry, forgot about myself. I thought that I was trusting and relying in God.

Yeah right!
This is what God says:

Psalm 3:3-6
But You, O LORD, are a shield about me, My glory, and the One who lifts my head. I was crying to the LORD with my voice, And He answered me from His holy mountain. Selah. I lay down and slept; I awoke, for the LORD sustains me.

Psalm 18:6-7
In my distress I called upon the LORD, And cried to my God for help; He heard my voice out of His temple, And my cry for help before Him came into His ears. Then the earth shook and quaked; And the foundations of the mountains were trembling, And were shaken, because He was angry.

Psalm 23:1-4
The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness For His name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

Psalm 34:4
I sought the LORD, and He answered me, And delivered me from all my fears.

Matthew 5:1-4 (Beatitudes)
When Jesus saw the crowds, He went up on the mountain; and after He sat down, His disciples came to Him.
He opened His mouth and began to teach them, saying,
"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

Matthew 11:28-30
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

As you can see, God never said, “Forget about your fears and worries, and I’ll make you better.” He said, “GIVE ME your fears and worries, lay them down at MY feet. Cast all your burdens on ME. And I, ONLY I will give you rest.”

So what have I learned?

It’s okay to be hurt.
When I’m hurt, I need to bring it to God.
God WANTS me to.
Only God can comfort me.
Being strong is not being shut up.
Being weak IS being strong.
Repressing feelings is not the cure for depression.

What Are You Wearing?

2010-09-03T22:03:00.005-05:00

What did you eat for dinner tonight? Say you went to McDonald's (or any fast food restaurant, or any restaurant, or even the food that you popped in the microwave). What was in your hamburger? That hamburger meat, did it come from a well cow? How do you know? Was that cow tortured? Was it injected with steroids? The lettuce and other vegetables, were pesticides poured all over it? Do you know how much processing went into your cheese? Did a happy cow make that cheese? That paper sack in comes in, how many trees were cut down to make all the bags put out that day by just one restaurant? Did you thank the people who handed you your food? Or did you complain and curse at them when they forgot your ketchup? What about the clothing you wore there? Where did you get it? Who made it? Where did they make it? What were they paid? Did they volunteer to make it, or were they forced to? Are your garments made from threads of slavery?

Americans say all the time that we are fortunate. And oh, we are, but you see we have gambled our fortune away, and I would contend that there isn't any turning back for our country as a whole. We buy things that slaves made. We put things into our bodies that are pumped full of things that shouldn't be going into our body. And we treat the people who serve us like crap. Why? Because it's the norm...but does that mean it's okay? Definitely not. We have rationalized, justified, and made excuses for our poor eating habits because things "taste good". Am I saying that you can never eat potato chips ever again? Definitely not. I'm saying that maybe you should think about where they came from--the potatoes, the packaging, the farmers, etc. Am I telling you to go completely organic? For some this is impossible, as the price on that type of food is expensive; that is another fallacy of our country--that poison is cheaper than nourishment. And am I telling you to quit shopping at Walmart, Nike, etc? Once again, that is all that some can afford, because our country has put slavery over quality.

This is something that I have been thinking about for quite a while now. There is no way that I can possibly quit buying things that are bad for me or that were made by slaves; I am poor and America has made it impossible for me. But it is free to be a social activist and volunteer your time somewhere. It's free to pray for the people who make your clothing and furniture for dollars a week. It's free to be kind to people who serve you through the drive through or at the grocery store. Or how about recycling? And maybe you could make some sacrifices as well--forgo Starbucks and bring food to the homeless in your town. Downgrade your phone plan and send money to a child in a third-world country. Instead of buying a few new pairs of shoes, you could buy just one slightly more expensive pair from an organization that gives shoes to other countries. Instead of buying your loved one the newest iPod, you could give families in third world countries goats this year for Christmas. There are small things that everyone can do.

Lord

2010-08-24T23:42:00.009-05:00

I feel like everyone here at SBU talks about God using the same phrase: "The Lord". Which I think is an amazing phrase for God. "Lord" means

"a person who has authority, control, or power over others; a master, chief, or ruler".

My question is, can you really call God your Lord? That would mean that you have surrendered complete control and power over to him, that he is the ruler of your life. For me, I can call God my Father because I go to Him for things and He disciplines me the way a Father should. I call Him my Friend because I chill with Him and have an ongoing relationship with Him. I call Him my Savior because He saved me from myself and my sin. I call Him Provider, Counselor, Healer, etc. But man, would I like to call Him my absolute Lord. I hope one day to get to that place where I can honestly call Him the LORD of my life.

Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter.
Matthew 7:21

I guess my challenge to you is to think, is God really the Lord of your life?

*I'm not bashing the usage of "Lord", only examining how powerful it truly is :)

As a fun aside, I asked facebook what their favorite names for God were!

Her Beauty is Her Godliness

2010-08-20T22:27:00.006-05:00

Her beauty is her Godliness, and she ain't gotta flaunt it 'cause it's obvious!

Those are words from Lecrae's song "Identity". I heard these words the other day and thought about it for the first time...how perfect to describe what I've been feeling lately! I'll explain :)

I never really thought of myself as beautiful, but I always knew I wasn't ugly, even though the world told me different. I was the white girl, the fat girl, the nerdy girl, the unfashionable girl, etc etc. Everybody can relate to this on some level. We grow up watching commercials that tell us we need something more to make us look truly beautiful. Our friends talk about losing weight (or gaining it) all the time. And we feel self-conscious. I think the meanest thing ever done to me (I have never shared this before) was my senior year in high school. We were picking people for Senior Superlatives and this joker thought it would be funny to put my name down for Best Physique and told everyone to do it. Although I didn't win, and a lot of people told him he was an idiot, I still felt horrible. Ugh. And so I went through life knowing that I don't fit in to this world's standards.

I wish someone would have told me sooner that my identity wasn't in this world, but in Christ. When I got to college this Truth was slowly revealed to me. I learned more and more who Christ was, which made me love Him more and more, and then I found out that my identity was in Him. I realized how beautiful of a creature I was, how unique I was, and how much God loved me. I wasn't entirely convinced, because I was like, "Well God feels this way about EVERYONE, so I'm not really THAT special." But I closed my eyes and believed anyway. Thank you Psalm 139.

As I fell more in love with my Savior and my God, I fell in love with myself (not in a conceited way!). I became more confident, and more outgoing. It was easy at SBU to really be myself, because the students and faculty want that very thing from everyone.

I noticed something changing. I was told quite often that I was beautiful. At first I thought people did that to be nice, or because they tell everyone that. But I started receiving unique compliments, or people would tell me privately the growth they have seen in me, and other amazing things. I was being affirmed and encouraged constantly. But I would look in the mirror and say "Why?" There is nothing unique about me--I have a pretty large rear, that's pretty much it, hah! And I knew that something had changed, it had to! Because it wasn't just other Christian's perspectives of me, it was even worldly people who told me that I was beautiful in a non-creepy non-hitting on way. Some of the most beautiful people to me are people who love Christ so much. There is something about them that you just can't get past! (Kinda reminds me of how in high school, I'd see a guy pray or raise his hands in worship and I would think, "He's hot!!!") But seriously, there is this glow and ray of confidence. I can't quite explain it, but it's true.

So why am I beautiful? I honestly couldn't tell you. But I see a direct correlation between the love I have for my Savior and my being beautiful. Yes! I don't need a slamming body to be beautiful! I don't need all the latest clothes. I don't even need to wear makeup sometimes. My beauty is my Godliness.....................imagine when we are in Heaven.....:)

My Summer Internship

2010-08-16T22:11:00.003-05:00

People keep asking me how my internship was this summer, so here's the short answer:

Amazing. I learned so much. I think that I got to see what ministry with a church and with teenagers really is like. There were ups and downs, as there are in ministry. There were times of defeat, but there were many many other moments where God just blew me completely away. I have made some intimate friendships that I think will last for quite some time. I wasn't perfect (surprise surprise), but it the end, I did the Lord's work and I believe that it is pleasing to Him.

As this semester progresses and I process this semester some more, I'll post some of the lessons I've learned about high school girls, evangelism, patience, respect, God's promises, faithfulness, my future, etc. There is just too much for one post!

Ministering to Middle School

2010-07-21T16:43:00.005-05:00

Middle School is tough, but here is an article that I found helpful: The Best of the Best for Middle School Ministry | YouthWorker.com

The Best of the Best for Middle School Ministry

By Jeff Tillson | Junior High Pastor, Grace Fellowship UMC, Katy, Texas. | March 2010

Let's face it—hanging out with middle school (I call it junior high!) students in the hopes of bringing them closer to Jesus takes serious guts. It is an energy-packed, patience-stretching, sometimes smelly, time-consuming, thankless, awkward and overlooked calling. We are clearly the only people on earth who could get away with belching a Bible lesson or having a swim party in the baptistry. Junior high ministry veterans would agree that ministering to young adolescents is a blast, but it also requires a great amount of wisdom and smart ministry on our part. This quick crash course in junior high ministry has been developed after 10 years of good and bad ideas. Some are originals; some have been said before; all are crucial to consider as you seek to reach this awesome age group.

Celebrate Their Energy

Junior high students have an abundance of energy. I have met many well-intentioned youth workers who have attempted to contain or correct this trait with little success. The truth is, to minister to this age group effectively we must celebrate and wisely direct this God-given electricity. If we don't, junior highers will be tempted to misuse their energy by distracting people around them, running around with a fire extinguisher or playing floor hockey with the senior pastor's commentaries. I am convinced there is a better way!

Strategically Placed Games: Who says we have to teach 35 minutes straight just like the high school ministry? Try the 15-Minute Rule: For every 15 minutes of teaching, include an energy-burning activity or game. Maybe the activity illustrates a point, or it could be completely random. A strategically placed activity might break your flow, but it greatly enhances a junior high student's ability to stay mentality engaged. Side note: Call me unspiritual, but after a decade of junior high ministry, I am doing many more 15- or 20-minute lessons than 35-minute lessons.

Mission Trips/Service Projects: While all age groups benefit from active learning and service, I believe it is most important in junior high ministry. Use their energy to play games with kids living in poverty, organize donations, mix concrete or clean up a local park. Don't let these opportunities be extras or just summer traditions. Breathe active service into the ongoing fabric of your intentional ministry to junior highers. Allowing service to become your curriculum will be a powerful faith-shaper in the lives of students.

Participatory Worship: For some reason, junior highers still love silly motions to worship songs. While I'm not a huge fan, they are! A wise youth worker won't push them toward adult worship songs too quickly.

Score Points with Parents

Effective junior high ministry cannot be done without the support of parents. Junior high guru Kurt Johnston wrote, "…it really doesn't matter who you are or what you can do. As a seasoned junior high youth worker, I can tell you that effective junior high ministry boils down to two things: The sovereignty of God and the support of parents." Here are a few tips that will go a long way with parents.

Communicate: Don't expect a squirrelly seventh grade boy to remember the details of the upcoming camping trip. Not going to happen! We must learn how to deliver the information quickly and effectively into the hands of parents through a variety of means: e-mails, text alerts, newsletters, Constant Contact—just find a way to do it well. In the life of a busy parent trying to manage the family schedule and a full work load, we can see how frustration mounts and support wanes if we don't get them the information they need. Remember always to return their calls, answer all their questions and make time for them.

Prepare and Encourage: Parents will admit that they are unsure about their abilities to guide their children through the junior high years. Be proactive in preparing them for the issues they will face, and be gracious in your encouragement toward them along the way. Even if you are a younger leader and haven't parented a junior high student, your experience and knowledge of students provides a unique window into their lives. This window can be incredibly helpful as you partner with the parents you serve.

Make It Easy: Do we really expect parents to drive their children up to the church three nights in one week? Is it smart to do a junior high retreat on a weekend when most families are swamped with other things? We score big points with parents when we go out of our way to make their lives a little easier.

Invite Them into the Action: When I was a younger leader, it took me awhile to realize that parents make some of the greatest volunteers. They live with these creatures, experience their drama and witness all the changes their kids experience. Some of them might even be crazy enough to accept your invitation to the frontlines of your ministry. What parent in your ministry is just waiting for an invitation?

Don't Forget the BIGGIES: Friendship and Identity

If there are two areas in which junior highers desperately need guidance, they are friendship and identity. With a different schedule, fresh faces and new surroundings, the onset of junior high is a prime opportunity for students to make important decisions about the friends they choose. Friendships created in junior high can have a massive ripple effect (positive or negative) on a student's spiritual development—not to mention their decisions, attitudes and place in society during their lifetimes.

In addition, the awkward physical changes coupled with the rollercoaster of emotions create a distorted view of their identity and self-worth. Girls and guys can express scathing disapproval of what they see in the mirror every day. We must talk, teach and mentor around these issues as often as appropriate. Beware of the nonverbal message your ministry sends to students on these topics, as well. What is your ministry doing to support the building of healthy, God-honoring friendships? Are you showing the popular students and the quiet loners that they matter to God? Good junior high youth workers constantly wrestle with these issues.

Capture a Larger View

For a die-hard junior high leader, this next sentence is difficult to write, but I know it to be true: In my church, I want junior highers to have an unstoppable excitement to be involved in high school ministry. It is a new, ridiculous attitude that God is cultivating in me; and I think we play an essential role in building their anticipation. For example, I choose not take junior highers on a sweet ski trip to Colorado or go out of the country on a mission trip as our high school students do. I want our high schoolers using the best spaces on Sunday night and doing "cooler things" with possibly a larger budget. This is not to say that I shy away from being a champion of junior high ministry or that junior high ministry should be lame. I just see wisdom in having a larger view of the spiritual journey that my kids are on—a journey of which (only by God's grace and entrusting) I am able to be a part.

So stay committed, remain humble, laugh often and love generously. Thanks for joining me in reaching this young and sometimes overlooked people group. What an awkwardly important mission field we have before us!

Jeff's Best of the Best Middle School Ministry Resources

Best Middle School Resource: Middle School Ministry Made Simple by Kurt Johnston (Standard)

Best Middle School Web Site:SimplyYouthministry.com

Best Middle School Event: Christ in Youth's "Believe" conference (CIY.com/believe/)

Best Middle School Curriculum: The "Uncommon" series, General Editor Kara Powell (Regal)

If You Believe in Change, DO IT!

2010-07-21T11:04:00.003-05:00

This is a pet peeve of mine that I have had for a very very very long time, and I think it's time I blog about it. Ha!

One of my favorite self-made quotes that I have been saying for years is, "Don't complain about something unless you are willing to change it."

I will always say that, and I have made an addition appropriate for the rest of this blog's rant: "NEVER complain about something you wish to change, unless you are ACTIVELY working to change it."

After working with four different youth groups outside of my own experience being IN a youth group, as well as listening to stories from all my friends who have BEEN in youth groups, as well as being in youth ministry classes where I hear stories ABOUT different youth groups, there is a common theme: Teenagers want change in their youth group. They want more unity. They want to be close. But they don't want to be the one to step out of their comfort zones and change it. So they sit back and complain.

My challenge to any teenage students is this: If you want a change to happen in your youth group, YOU need to be the one to initiate it. If you know that something needs to happen, something needs to change, ask God for wisdom concerning the area. The Bible tells us that if you are lacking in that area, to ask God and that He will graciously provide. If you realize a need for change, but don't know how to change it, ask God for discernment.

This was a short rant, but I hope that you will take this to heart and apply it to every part of your life.

Scripture in Sermons

2010-07-19T10:25:00.001-05:00

How much Scripture does a pastor need to use in a sermon?

I have been asking myself this question for a few months now, as I have been battling being spiritually fed by church. I would often be sitting in a church, listening to the pastor, and saying to myself, “This is nice and all, but how is this scripturally supported? What does the Bible have to say about this?” I always thought that the role of the pastor was to constantly bring the Word of God, not to present a feel-good speech once a week.

I have been a member of the same church for 15 years. I have gone since I was 5 by myself on the church van every Sunday. For me, church was my family, as they were my sources of spiritual advisement and were there for me throughout my life. I have seen three pastors there over the course. This last pastor came when I was a sophomore (?) in high school, and although he wasn’t my first pick for pastor, he was voted in. He was humorous, had funny sayings, and, like me, didn’t sugarcoat the truth. I became the first person from my church to graduate and enter ministry, and he seemed supportive, but not thrilled. I noticed by the time I had graduated that his sayings repeated, his euphemisms cycled, and his sermons has kind of fell flat. I couldn’t really explain why, but they just had. I noticed that the church was falling flat, and I couldn’t pinpoint the reasons, but I knew that it had to do with MANY different areas of the church and MANY different ministries. I was kind of glad, honestly, to be moving on to college and get away from the same old, generic stuff I was getting from my church. Two years into college, I am finally educated enough to understand why the church is declining, although I won’t get into that.

This semester, I had the opportunity to come back quite a few times over the few months for various reasons. I attended this church on Sundays, and began to discover a trend in the Pastor’s sermons…no Scripture. He would read a verse or so from the Bible, we would pray, we would sit, and then he would rant for the rest of the service. He would present points, but wouldn’t add much Scripture into those points. They were unsupported (Note: this is not ALL the time, but the majority of the time). At the end of each Sermon, I ask myself, “What is the Lord trying to tell me?” However, at the end of his sermons, I wasn’t able to answer the question, as he didn’t really talk about what the Lord said, according to Scripture.

The final straw was on Mother’s Day this year. I came home for the weekend, and the pastor’s message was about how we need to be treating our mothers—with adoration, affirmation, etc etc. However, he gave no Scripture. He mentioned one verse, then we prayed and nothing else about the Bible was said. Towards the end of the sermon, he told a story something like this (except a lot more poetic): “God and an angel were talking, and the angel was asking God how He was going to create mothers. And God said, ‘I’ll create them with 6 arms so they can do all the tasks around the house, 4 sets of eyes so they can keep their eyes on everyone at once, etc.’ The angel said, ‘And what is that running down her face? Did you create that too?’ And God replied, ‘That tear wasn’t created by me, it’s blah blah something beautiful.’” Okay, I’m not a good storyteller, but I think you get the gist. This story was completely made up and had nothing to do with Scripture, but the pastor made it sound as if it REALLY happened. He made the audience feel incredibly good, made a bunch of people say “awww”, and made MY JAW DROP. I had to be nudged to close my mouth. I felt extremely convicted to talk to him, and got up the courage to. I pulled him aside, alone, after church and tried to talk to him about the lack of Scripture in his messages. Instead of going, “Wow, I didn’t realize that. I need to investigate this and look at myself to see if this is really true. Thanks, sister.” He YELLED at me, called me arrogant, and claimed that my school was teaching me crazy things. He told me that if I needed more Scripture, to go find another church. He told me, “How dare you come into MY church so arrogantly and call ME out!” …and just many more ridiculous things… In 5 minutes I lost so much respect for this man. He pulled others from the church over and asked them if he used Scripture, and when they said no he just got furious. I talked to my youth pastor, who admitted to me that he knows the pastor uses no scripture, and told me that the reason nobody has called him out on it is because of his arrogance and temper. If you would like the whole story, I can tell you it in private, but he just made a fool out of himself. When I asked the pastor if I could call him and talk to him later that week, he told me no. When I mentioned that he could have used Proverbs 31 to back up all his points, he told me that wasn’t what the Lord led him to. So you’re telling me the Father told you to use no Scripture?

Sigh.

I have never been so upset with my church, and I have put up with a LOT from them. But it has made me think, how much Scripture is needed for a sermon? I need thoughts and opinions.

**As a side note, I want to point out that when I talked to my pastor, I was NOT arrogant. I told him that I was coming as his sister, and honestly if I was making the same mistake I would want people to come to me and let me know mine. There is an extreme lack of Scripture in many pastors and youth leaders, and I hoped that my pastor would strive to be above this. But apparently if you’re arrogant enough to not use Scripture, you’re too arrogant to examine yourself after criticism. Also, I am no longer attending that church. I need to be fed from the errorless Bible, not humans who error all the time. Pastors, let the Holy Spirit speak through you, not your own sinful self. And my prayer is that all Christians can do the same, especially when ministering.

Plant, Water, Watch :)

2010-07-09T22:04:00.003-05:00

Sent from my mobile. Enjoy.
_____________________________________________________________

I planted, Apollos watered, but God was causing the growth. So then neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but God who causes the growth. 1 Cor 3:6~7.
Theme off my summer :)
Ministers, being ALL Christians, are simply God's workers. Some plant seeds, meaning they are initially working in a person's life. Some water those seeds, meaning they are invested in discipleship. We are all Planters at some point, & Waterers at other points. You might be a Planter & Waterer for the same person. It is inevitable that it will take multiple Waterers for even just one person.
The task isn't easy; that's why there's a great reward for it. Every person who calls on the name of the Lord for salvation is called to be a Planter & Waterer. But in the end, it is God who causes growth. When a person you've been ministering to comes to Christ, it's not YOU who have saved them, but the irresistible grace of God that draws them to salvation. You are indeed essential, but glory is God's.

Surrendering it ALL...even my vocation.

2010-07-08T11:04:00.003-05:00

I was so busy yesterday, that I forgot it was a special anniversary—three years to the day I surrendered my future vocation to the Lord. It wasn’t an easy journey to that point, I can tell you that; and the journey since has been rewarding.

My junior year of high school (11^th grade), I was fully immersed in church life. I ushered, led worship team, was fully involved in the youth group, volunteered for all kinds of things, led Sunday School…you name it, I did it! I struggled a lot with trying to fit in with my friends, as all teens do. There weren’t many strong Christian influences around me (looking back at high school, I can think of 4-6 other strong followers of Christ that I graduated with out of 216?). I guess the difference was I had strong convictions should I do something “wrong.” So I didn’t do much partying or anything, just because I knew it was wrong.

Winter rolled around, and I felt the Lord trying to tell me something. I was planning colleges and my future, and was decided on a major but worried about finding a college I could afford for journalism. My youth pastor was the first to say something that really made me think. He told me that I shouldn’t go far for college, because he needed me to work with the youth and “take over” after I graduate. I laughed at the thought of “taking over” a youth group; it seemed outright ridiculous to me…but I started to think about it. I felt like the Lord was trying to tell me something, but I ignored it because I already had my life figured out (I’m a planner, as well as stubborn). One by one people in the church started coming up to me, telling me about the spectacular job I was doing working with the youth, how I was a light in the church, how I needed to continue working with teenagers and was gifted, and blah, blah, blah! Each time I would thank them and start to think about what they were saying, but then I would go rebel. I repeatedly told God, “I’m not adequate enough. Find someone else. This is too hard for me! I can’t do this! This would take too much out of me! It doesn’t pay enough for the job I’d do.” I rebelled more and more, as I got flat-out drunk and embarrassed myself in front of my friends and lost their respect. I found my worth in boys, as I became completely obsessed with one and became a complete idiot with another. There was no way I was going to surrender my life!

I remember that night I got drunk, the next morning I woke up and taught Sunday School. I got in front of the youth, and became honest for the first time. I told them the previous night’s activities. I also told them what I felt God was calling me to. They affirmed me and the calling, and I rolled my eyes and didn’t listen. I began telling a few people, laughing at the preposterousness of it (real word). As I was softened, I pushed further and further until I hit my rock bottom. I went to summer camp and just struggled, because I knew what God wanted me to do. I bawled my eyes out every night, because I didn’t want to accept it. Finally, one night I was praying to God, repenting of the last eight months of nonsense. I asked why, what was the point of this. “This is what you’re meant to be” was the response. I looked up and around, and I saw teenagers praying, youth leaders helping them, people singing, etc (typical camp scene) and I knew it. Right then and there I said, “Fine God. If this is it, fine.” And I gave up!

I cried for months afterwards. I broke things off with the guy I was seeing. I honestly changed my life. I still was reluctant, but trusted. I told God that if was going to make me do this, to find a college. Bam. I told Him that if he wanted me to go to that college, to provide a way to pay. Double Bam. And soon my bitterness towards the surrender turned to joy.

You see, God knows what He’s doing. As I look back, it only makes sense that I would work with teenagers for the rest of my life. I went through an incredible lot as a teen, and I know that its purpose was for helping others. I have a strong sense of leadership. I also have ADD and difficulties with my speech, which is a requirement for youth leaders, haha! I was preparing for ministry before I even entered it, as I collected books and such. Isn’t it funny that I was preparing for something without even realizing it? That’s the power of God.

Every time I would tell a friend that I was going into youth ministry, they would reply, “That makes sense” or “That’s perfect for you!” Thanks friends, for knowing before I did! Not everyone was supportive, especially in my family (they wish I picked something that I would get a whole lot of money out of). But honestly, it only makes sense now.

I have grown a lot since there, partly because of the college God sent me to and partly because of the ministry God sent me to. I am not the same girl I was in high school, and people know it and can tell within the first few minutes of talking to me. God has been piecing the puzzle together for me, and I am letting Him. I don’t want to make plans anymore, because I know that His is already set down for me.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 19:11.

hallelujah.

I'm scared sometimes, I'm going to be honest. There are a lot of criticisms for ladies in ministry, and I face it. And I also face the criticisms from my family and others. The scary thing is, I try not to worry, because I know the Father is taking care of me. He takes care of the birds, the flowers, the hippopotamuses. Who am I that He can't take care of me?

Surrendering sucks sometimes, but man is it sweet.